Life Without Toast - Sibling Rivalry

A Dog's Diary

7 a.m. - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

8 a.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 a.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 p.m. - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

3 p.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

4 p.m. - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

6 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

7 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

8 p.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 p.m. - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

11 p.m. - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time.

Posted by Babs at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Up in Andys, having a chat, after work. Nice and chilled.

Idly chatting about all kinds of crap, the fantasticness of the festival on the weekend, Andy having to work all weekend and him being teeny tad pissed off and full of coldy stuffy horribleness after getting lashed on at Daft Punk on Friday night, only seeing a couple of things over the weekend, I was all "Trans Global Underground was cool, and the Disco Brasil thing was really deadly, I was really pissed (ow my head when I got up this morning)" yadda blah etc. Ant and Dec's "Northern Rock All* Star Cup" celebrity golf thingy is on TV.

Alice Cooper is playing well (he plays almost every day, you know), Meatloaf's not bad either. Alice Cooper. Meatloaf. Golf. Weird.

Do you reckon the Devil plays gold? I reckon he does. If Alice does, I reckon old Nick pulls on his plus-fours and the old argyle geansaí every so often for an auld front nine before lunch. Probably does.

That's probably all that's on on TV in hell, The Devil, playing golf, all day, every day.

Not in golfer's hell, obviously.

Me and Andy talk about some weird shit.

Posted by Matt at 9:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Photoblogging...

Posted by Matt at 5:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Photoblogging...

Posted by Matt at 12:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Photoblogging...

Posted by Matt at 8:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It comes but once a year. That week that I do 70-80 hours of back-breaking work, with no overtime, and really, truly don't mind, as it's so interesting and much fun. The week 250-300,000 people descend on the town of Dun Laoghaire in county Dublin, to attend indoor and outdoor gigs, dance shows, theatre, workshops, clubs, markets and 'street events', and generally have a thoroughly excellent time.

This year, myself and herself have the pleasure of entertaining Adrian and Annie over the weekend. The Sev is arriving tomorrow, and Annie on Saturday. In between doing all those previously-mentioned hours of festival work (6 shows in 4 days, plus discussions, seminars, workshops, photoshoots, tv work, and general management and production-type stuff), I will endeavour to show them why exactly, once a year, Dun Laoghaire is the coolest place in the entire world.

As I'm kinda totally up to my tits (did I mention that already?), I don't know what's going to happen here on the LWT. If all goes according to plan, I will be 'live blogging' the entire thing, in photos (if all doesn't go according to plan, you won't hear jack from me all weekend, but that's not going to happen).

Later dudes. Updates (may or may not start) from tomorrow.

Posted by Matt at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

Photoblogging...

Fill 'er up with Crisp n' Dry there bud.

Posted by Matt at 3:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

In relation to Seamus' questioning of value of the ?2 per question answered on the AQA service, I decided, in fact, to go ahead and ask AQA the question:

What will the winning Lotto numbers be this Saturday 19th of August?

I'm going to trust AQA and see if I win the lottery this Saturday. If I am successful, I will inform AQA that they should probably increase the cost of the service.

AQA: They don't do 'the future'.

UPDATE: I am no richer today than I was yesterday, despite AQA's best efforts. I deduce that there is no need after all for them to raise their prices above the ?2 per question they currently charge.

Posted by Matt at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Taking a cue from Dan, I have investigated the AQA service, seeing as how it's now available in Ireland. You simply text a question (any question) to 57275, and you get the answer back a couple of minutes later, for a fee. Dan's had a lot of fun blogging questions and answers, so I thought I'd shamlessly plagarise join in on the fun, and have a go myself:

Me: "If you only have one leg, and you go into a shoe shop, do you have to pay for two shoes or can you just argue "but I only want one"?"

AQA: "There are no shops that specifically sell single shoes, but they could be ordered. Bear in mind that many amputees have artificial limbs and would want two shoes"

Well, that's that cleared up then. AQA: Any Question Answered.

Posted by Matt at 9:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

Photoblogging...

Bar none. And especially on a hot Marks & Spencer crumpet. With real butter. Mmmm...

Posted by Matt at 7:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Well, there goes the summer. Although Autumn officially started in Ireland two weeks ago (according to Wikipedia and the Irish Calendar), I hope to God The Flying Spaghetti Monster that this isn't the end of the sunshine and warmth I've grown so used to over the past month or two. Just in case though, I would advise Adrian and Annie to bring their waterproofs when they come over for the FOWC in a couple of weeks. Similarily I would advise Nat and Ian to bring their wellies and jackets when they visit Dublin (whenever that may be), even (nay especially) if the weather forecast says the weather will be amazing.

It has been an abnormally err... summery... summer, but the misery that is evident when I look out my office window kinda gets me down a wee bit and makes me forget just how great Global Warming has been to us this summer*. Even though I know it's great for the plants and crops and flowers and trees and all that (which is like, great, an' all), it still makes me yearn for blue skies and sunshine. And above all, less wetness. I think Global Warming means more rain when it does rain too, though (Wikipedia didn't help a lot on this one)?

I suppose I should be happy that I have a window, really.

</whinge>

_{[*note: Global Warming is BAD]}

Posted by Matt at 4:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

From the same school (LED-based techno wizardry) as the Pac Man Spoke Lights, comes the 'Time Fountain'...

Isn't it lovely? I'd love to make one, but I'd probably blow it up, and/or ruin the carpet with the glow-in-the-dark goo.

_{[via Linkbunnies and Endgadget]}

Posted by Matt at 7:28 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

I just started using Microsoft Outlook 2003, after using a completely different email program that almost nobody uses for a few years, and getting nicely used to it and it's little idiosyncrasies and quirks. I knew how to use it, anyway. I don't really know my way around Outlook. The '2003' version has this little 'Favourite Folders' box, which I'm sure someone in Microsoft R&D though was a great idea, but I have no use for whatsoever. Trouble is, it's taking up valuable space, and I can't find any way to get the fucking thing out of my sight. Anyone got any tips out there?

And any other Outlook-ey hints and tips would be greatly appreciated too!

Cheersamundo dudes (and dudettes).

Posted by Matt at 1:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Ah, Tad Williams, how I love thee (in a platonic way, of course). I was introduced to the works of Mr. Williams by a crazy sci-fi lovin' pathologist girl I used to knew (haven't seen or heard from her in about ten years, wonder what happened to her...), through his 'Otherland' saga, which I thought to be stupendously brilliant, and hold on an equal level to Lord Of The Rings in the 'books I love' list, in my brain. This is a slightly less weighty tome, but I thought it was an enjoyable romp, and a real page-turner (I finished it in 3 days, while on holiday, and it's over 700 pages. I'm a slow reader, Dan). Anyhoo...

Theo, yeah? Main character. Bit of a 'dude'. Smokes weed, plays guitar in a band, does a bit of songwriting. Doesn't give a crap about anything except his poor sick Ma. Finds (in a convoluted way) this old journal belonging to an uncle of his, which talks about another place, another world, the land of 'Faerie'. Thinks it's all a load of bollocks, but it like, sounds so real, n' shit. Then a big slimy monstry thing made out of bits of old winos and dead cats comes after him while he's chilling out in a cabin in the woods, and a little fairy called Applecore appears and opens a gateway and the two of them bugger of outta dodge and away from the monstery pile of wino-cat. Good start, eh? But it IS only the start.

Posted by Matt at 5:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

^{(For all of you non-Irish readers, this weekend just past was a bank holiday in Ireland, so nyah-nyah)}

• Get up late.


• Have a leisurely breakfast.


• Read the papers.


• Chill out.


• Go for a drive in Wicklow.


• Make a nice dinner.


• Drink a nice bottle of wine.


• Watch a good film.


• Go to bed late.


• Get up even later.


• Drink coffee.


• Smoke cigarettes.


• Go for a stroll on the pier.


• Go for a coffee & a cake.


• Go for a stroll in Dalkey.


• Load photos onto your PC, a peruse them at a leisurely pace.


• Get an Indian take-away.


• Play video games.


• Go to bed at a reasonable hour, ready for work (gah!) the next day.

Posted by Matt at 1:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

By This: http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

Sarah: at age 26 while playing Tekken 23, a burglar will break into your house. A fight will ensue and you will lose.

(not by the fact that it has told me that I will die at 26, but that I don?t know how to play Tekken)

Posted by Babs at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

[via some dude]

Posted by Matt at 7:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

So I'm on the couch, watching an episode of the Simpsons, and Nikki casually remarks, without thinking about what she's saying:

"That's weird, I haven't got my jugs out yet"

(Cue uproarious, snorting laughter from me, and much slapping of my thigh)

"I mean, I haven't unpacked my measuring jugs, from the boxes, oh, you know what I mean!"

I'm still laughing. :-)

(Heh-heh... jugs... heh-heh-heh)

Posted by Matt at 7:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)