Pet Diary
A Dog's Diary
7 a.m. - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!
8 a.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 a.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!
2 p.m. - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!
3 p.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!
4 p.m. - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!
7 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!
8 p.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9 p.m. - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!
11 p.m. - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!
A Cat's Diary
Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.
It's only a matter of time.
(posts)
4.21-en
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Comments
*laughing*
I love this!
Posted by: Ian | August 30, 2006 12:21 PM
That is absolutely fantastic.
Posted by: winds | August 30, 2006 1:04 PM
Isn't it just!!
Posted by: Babs | August 30, 2006 1:20 PM
EVIL!
That's all I'm saying.
Posted by: Adrian | August 30, 2006 1:56 PM
Evil, OR, the oppressed captives imprisoned against their wills by the evil overthrowers (that's us), living on their wits and planning their eventual escape to freedom.
Well, that's they think they are anyway.
Posted by: Matt | August 30, 2006 2:22 PM
oh god...are my baby turtlepops planning a revolt? Crap!!!
Posted by: Babs | August 30, 2006 2:40 PM
This is brilliant.
Posted by: Stuart | August 30, 2006 3:19 PM
I love it! I giggled most inappropriately in my cube :-)
Posted by: Calista | August 30, 2006 3:36 PM
tee hee! So Babs, are you a cat person or a dog person?
Posted by: annie | August 30, 2006 5:31 PM
I am both I suppose, but right now, I am a turtle person, I love my baby turtles, there will be a post about them soon.....
Posted by: Babs | August 31, 2006 8:28 AM
I hope there are pictures too!
Posted by: Ian | September 1, 2006 3:19 PM
there will be numerous pictures, I got them a new "house" yesterday, it's as wide as a double bed and they LOVE it!!
Posted by: Babs | September 1, 2006 3:49 PM
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!
I have both cats and dogs and this is soooo right on!
Posted by: ElvenWolf | February 22, 2007 5:04 PM
We will rise.
Wait.
Your time is coming.
The third rising of Venus over the dog star.
Then apocalypse.
Apocacataly..
ca...
Cats rule.
Posted by: Sean | September 23, 2007 1:27 PM
THIS IS FUNNY
Posted by: NATE | February 2, 2008 2:02 PM