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Supermarket Software

(...Idly strolling through Tesco...)

Hmmm... Sandwich, sandwich, sandwich. These are all crap, I'd be better off going to M&S. In fact, fuck this, I think I will...

I think we need Jam. And butter. That schmancy Italian coffee I got in town will only last until the end of this week.

Tesco Value Digestives are really good. They're at least 95% as good as McVitie's, and they're only 37c. THIRTY-SEVEN CENTS! How do they do it?! It's Witchcraft I tell you!

Hang on. This can't be right. Tesco Anti-Virus...?

"Bollocks", I cry.

No, it's really real.

Holy shit! Tesco Office! Like Microsoft Office, only not quite as good, and it's ?30! THIRTY FUCKING EURO!

Hmmm... If I didn't already have MS office on my computer, would I buy this? Probably not. I'd probably download Open Office, despite it's myriad bugs and problems, because it costs exactly nought cents...

Then again, Average Joe probably hasn't got a clue about Open-Source goodness. He'll buy Tesco Office and like it. He'll think it's the best thing since... Well, either Tesco Digestives or MS Office, depending on where he's coming from. Hmmm... It appears Tesco office is just Ability Office with a Tesco sticker on it. And Tesco Anti-Virus is the godawful Panda in sheeps clothing.

So I was totally right with my cry of "Bollocks!" then...

(...Goes to M&S for a superior sandwich...)

Comments

Tesco sell everything, it actually frightens me at times!

Everything except Flash Powder for floors. I can't find it anywhere. Anyone know if they still make it?

They have it in my Tesco, or just use the liquid stuff, it's the same, I think on the label it says "multi purpose cleaner" or something like that. Also for a superior samdwich go to Busyfeet & Coco cafe on South William Street, yummy, I recommend "The French" and a croissant for afters!!

Going to South William Street for a superior sandwich during my lunch break isn't exactly practical, now is it?

It's basically M&S or Itsa Bagel. Sometimes, not often, but sometimes, Harry's Bar, when I'm feeling schmancy.

You should make your own gourmet sambos at home and bring them in! Then you have no disappointment, Tesco sambos actually frighten me!

M&S ones are grand. And the Cheddar Cheese Ploughman's one is ont like ?2.25 or something, which is really to ocheap to say no to.

Say "NO" to shop bought sambos, you know you want to.....

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