Another Chapter Of My Life Is Over: ... on Life Without Toast

So yesterday was my last day in work, I have to say it was bizarre to say the least, even more bizarre than when I left the hotel I used to work in after nearly 3 years?leaving behind the daily bollocks made me happy, but leaving behind all of the wonderful friends did not. I loved where I sat, beside the window so I could open it and close it as much as I wanted and always enjoyed the afternoon sunshine beating down on me even when it meant that I couldn?t see my computer screen, the best thing about my seat was that no one could see my screen, so basically I could piss about all day and no one even know anything. I loved my parking space (when I got one?but that?s another story), I loved the canteen where we would sit for an hour at lunch time and look at the builders (or Doozers as we liked to call them) while people would walk in, see my carefully prepared balanced lunch and make comments like ?oh my goooood you are so f*ckin healthy all the time, I never see you eating any rubbish? (as if that was a bad thing) and in my head I would answer ?for f*ck sake looooser, you say that to me every single day that you see me, think of another comment, plus I actually LIKE this food, which is why I am eating it because unlike you, you breakfast roll eating f*ck, I don?t NEED to go on a diet, I have actually got a quick metabolism, and also, if I eat sugar or other shite, I feel SICK, I have told you all this about a million times, why don?t you just f*ck off!!!!!!!!!? (yes really, I would actually say this inside my head, just to make myself feel better). Or other comments would be made like ?what?s THAT????? and it would be something like hummus or quinoa, or something equally normal. I will miss my team, well two of them anyway, as the other one member was a dick head, I named her ?Brekki Roll? which then just turned into ?The Roll?. She would eat one at least every day and was the nosiest f*ck ever in the universe, she would see me telling someone something and be all ?what?? WHAT what are you talking about? basically she was a knacker, who thought that she was dead posh, and she ate the smelliest food in the world at her desk, she had worked there for almost nine years and thought that the company would die without her, she moaned about everything, and I mean?everything. She was enormous as well, and had suffered a massive stroke about 2 years ago, she was 44, and yet still ate more shite in one day that I would in a year. Everything was processed shite, sausage rolls dripping with grease, at least a packet of biscuits every single day without fail, marsh mallows by the sackload, peanuts, crisps, mars bars (like 3 a day) and then would ask me how she was going to lose weight, when she found out that I was a former chef, she even asked me would I come up with a diet plan for her. I don?t think that she quite understood that most restaurant food is laced with butter, cream and salt and other bad? foods when eaten too often. I did however manage to keep it from her that I was leaving until Monday last (which is a fat in itself because everyone else knew!!).

Team member No 1 will be missed because of the banter that we always had from day one, post it snail mail when the server went down, casino nights when I always won and he always lost (I think that I was his bad luck charm!!), road trips to Galway in search of a car, swivel chair dodgems, and just general messing and confidante-esque type of crap, I knew that he always had my back as I always had his!!

Team member No 2: She came late to the team from another department under my recommendation as her boss was a total asshole and bully, she is a mammy and I love her like a sister, she took me on holidays with her and I knew that I could trust her with anything, also, she is my Avon lady and no one else can get me cheap products as quick as she can!!

The reason that I left was because my manager K left us a few weeks back, and I knew that I wouldn?t be able for it in there without him, he is a dude and I wish that he hadn?t left, but they were treating him like shite and not paying him enough money for the job that he did. He started a month after I did and changed everything for the good, he got rid of staff that were taking the piss and brought in new people, I was one of three that he kept on and I will be forever grateful that he believed in me when no one else did. He went through a lot of bad times in the past year, suffered great loss, and yet still had a smile on his face in work, quite literally the best manager I have ever had. Seriously, you should see the reference that he gave me, fucking amazing!!

They brought in a manager from a different department (yes Team Member No 1?s old bully boss) and she is a f*cking antichrist, not in an evil way, just in a thick way, if you call in sick, she will not let you stay home, she told one of the lads that he couldn?t take a half day to go and see his baby?s first ultrasound scan because one other person was off that day (he went anyway). She has no feelings and is obsessed with pink crap and products, one day I came into work with my hair wavy (au natural) and she said ?oh Babs, if you want I will show you how to straighten your hair properly? I mean f*ck off bizatch. She basically doesn?t ?get? me, and therefore, I cannot stand her, she can?t understand how I can come to work with a bare face, when she spends two hours in the morning putting the slap on, she doesn?t understand how I drink pints and not glasses / bottles, she has commented before on my unladylikeness, to Team Member No 1 who said to her ?Babs has more grace and elegance than anyone else in here, so shut up bitching to me about my mate? (woohoo).

Yesterday when I left I was bawling my eyes out, so many hugs and good wishes and my card full of love (really) and I thought I would never get home.

My MD was a prick, he didn?t even know that yesterday was my last day, I mean, come on, there are only 60 people working there you know??) and he wouldn?t let them do a ?thing? for me where they get a present. So Team Member No 2 took matters into her own hands and got everyone to donate moolah and gave me that on the sly, she knows how picky I am and so just gave money so I can grab whatever I want, or use it to pay for something nice for myself. I was so disappointed that there was no ?goodbye ceremony?, K would have never let that happen.

So I am gone from there now and am moving to greener pastures thank fooook, I start on Monday and am cacking it to say the least, what do I wear, will I wear my glasses so I look uber intelligent of not a little nerdy and vulnerable, or do I go power tastic with red lipstick (I never wear lipstick?ever) and what will I do when I go in. There is one thing that I hate and that is being the newbie?

Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!