An Ode To Windows
(Or: Why I Am Buying A Mac)
Oh! Windows, you are so totally utterly rubbish,
With your "downloading updates" and "restart now" every fucking day.
Your viruses and bloatware anger and frustrate me so terribly much,
What can I do to make you go away?
Lo! A mystical place place called the Apple Online Store,An utopia of shiny happy user-friendliness, Core 2 Duo™ and "It Just Works",
People may say I'm just a slutty gadget-whore,
But in reality, what other option is there when Windows is so totally borked?
Soon, there shall be podcasts, movies and stop-motion video,Visits to the Lifehacker/software/Mac page, and no restarting,
Aqua and iSight and that cool transformer that the cable wraps around, woo-hoo!
I'm so awfully excited, oh yes, I really, really am, that Windows and I are parting.
FIN
[yes, I am aware that this ode does not follow the "rules" of an ode, but I don't need no STEENKING RULES, m'kay?]
(posts)
4.21-en
Geek Support, fixing of bugger-ups, moral support, code splicing, tech. administration, whining, über-nerdery and fetching of fluffy coffees by 
Comments
Hmm... A Mac, you say?
Tell us how you get on.
Posted by: QE | April 17, 2007 3:49 PM
I daresay you will be so utterly sick of Mac-related posts in a few weeks that you may consider un-subscribing from the LWT feed, before reconsidering, dude to our extreme awesomeness.
Posted by: Matt | April 17, 2007 3:55 PM
Oh, don't start on about that 'feed' thing again :-p
Posted by: QE | April 17, 2007 3:58 PM
How can I compete with a Wii AND a Mac????
Posted by: NKL | April 17, 2007 4:14 PM
You may have to resort to walking around naked...
Joke. The real question is, how can they compete with you? The answer is: they can't.
(no "vomit" jokes now)
Posted by: Matt | April 17, 2007 4:17 PM
A Mac is something you wear when it rains... right?
Posted by: SharkyUK | April 17, 2007 5:12 PM
BADUM-TSSSH.
"For all your punning needs, go to SharkyUK.com! No pun too weak, no phrase too groan-inducing! We've got them all!"
Yes Sharky, that's what a mac is. A Mac (note the capital "M"), on the other hand, is a type of "computer". "Computers" are used, amongst other things, for "computing".
Posted by: Matt | April 17, 2007 5:30 PM
Congratulations! Ignore Sharks as he just jealous ;-)
Posted by: Calista | April 18, 2007 4:13 AM
If you're going low-level, I'm not sure 'computers' can do other things than 'compute'. I think that computation is prerequisite to everything else they do.
Posted by: QE | April 18, 2007 12:17 PM
Ah-ha, QE, that's where you're wrong. They can be used as doorstops, the tower section on a desktop can, in a pinch, be used as an impromptu stool, if you open your CD drive tray you can rest your cup of tea on it, and the various cables and cords can be used to strangle the occasional pedant.
Posted by: Matt | April 18, 2007 12:31 PM
Come on in, the water's lovely.
I really, really, really couldn't be without my macs anymore. Would never go back to windows. Trying to work out how to convince o/h to let me swap the mac book for a mac book pro.
Posted by: razorhead | April 18, 2007 1:52 PM
Do I detect a hint of jealousy towards my rather witty comments?! ;) No? Oh...
Thanks for the brief introduction to computers and computing. Very much appreciated, Matt! I've only ever used a Mac here and there (mainly when I was at Uni) and there's not much call for them (or support) in my line of work at present. I'm too old and set in my ways to change from my beloved PC setup these days. I'm certainly not jealous however (I'm looking at you Calista!)
Posted by: SharkyUK | April 18, 2007 2:25 PM
Ah, Razor, I will be doubtless mailing you as well as Mr. Sevitz in the next month or so, with "How do I...?" And "WTF...?" galore. I fear that I won't going back either, not counting the PC I use in work.
Sharky, too old is a relative term. My Grandad sent his first text at the age of 81, and his first email the year after that.
As for using them in your line of work... Bollocks! Buy one for use at home. That's what I'm doing.
Posted by: Matt | April 18, 2007 3:43 PM
I have to agree with Matt here, Sharks. You thinking you are too old is just an excuse. I am most certainly not jealous of your "witty" comments either :-) If I had enough money, I'd send a Mac to you for your birthday and see how you liked that. But then, that may not be appreciated by either yourself or other parties.
Posted by: Calista | April 18, 2007 8:27 PM
:-) Fair points but I mainly use my home PC for programming, research and playing games - hence it's not worth me getting a Mac.
Calista, that's very kind of you to say so but I couldn't accept such a gift; even if you did have enough money! My birthday is in August by the way... ;-)
Enjoy your Mac's and I'll stick to my [not so] humble PC for the foreseeable future. *grin*
Posted by: SharkyUK | April 19, 2007 12:21 AM
Sharky and Calista, stop flirting with each other on my blog. We already have enough of that on both of yours. :-)
Posted by: Matt | April 19, 2007 12:56 AM
Twerp :-) I know full well when your birthday is.
Posted by: Calista | April 19, 2007 1:29 AM
Uh oh! **Blushes** Caught me!
Posted by: Calista | April 19, 2007 3:03 PM
/says nothing very loudly!
Matt, as much as I value Calista's friendship I don't think my good lady would be too impressed if I were to flirt openly with her!
Where were we? Oh yes, Macs... :-)
*Sorry*
Posted by: SharkyUK | April 19, 2007 3:14 PM
Sharks, it is totally possible to flirt with someone without there being any further connotations to it. And that is what you're doing! And Calista already admitted to it anyway. :-)
Yes, we were indeed talking about Macs. Aren't they lovely?
Posted by: Matt | April 19, 2007 3:58 PM
My teasing Sharks mercilessly is completely innocent. I do not have designs on Sharks. If his good lady is in any way offended, I shall cease my teasing immediately.
Posted by: Calista | April 19, 2007 6:10 PM
Exactly what I said! Teasing/flirting/no connotations/totally innocent. But can we PLEASE talk about computers and geeky stuff instead?! This post is about Macs.
Ta muchly.
Posted by: Matt | April 19, 2007 6:44 PM
Of course. **bows humbly**
I shall thing of something Mac appropriate soon.
Posted by: Calista | April 19, 2007 11:54 PM
Calista, if I were 10 years younger and lived closer... :-) (Ok, ok - no more, I promise!)
Attempting to steer back on topic I must confess that a friend of mine has a rather wonderful Apple Mac Pro workstation with a Quad Core Intel Xeon (running at 2.66 GHz I believe). It's a stylish aluminium-looking affair and it certainly makes his graphic/publishing work a lot easier.
Posted by: SharkyUK | April 20, 2007 1:16 AM
That is a truly beautiful machine. It is a joy to use and joy to just stare at.
Posted by: Calista | April 20, 2007 2:05 AM
Increasingly an advocate for Linux as I am, I think this conversation was far more interesting when it was about flirting ;-)
Posted by: QE | April 20, 2007 2:03 PM