A Day In The Life Of A Very Bored Babs: ... on Life Without Toast

I am so boredddddd. Really. I have had nowt to do all day. They gave me this “task” to do which I thought yahoo it will take up some of the hours I have been idling away on line but no it somehow took me the computer whizz kid (not really) about 40 mins to do, and I also sent an email to my friend in the middle so only about 30 mins. I don’t understand why they are wasting so much cashola on me and to be honest there’s only so many more days of pressing send & receive and scratching my arse that I can take.

I mean at first its great, ooh I can while away hours on line “learning” things on Wikipedia, catching up on my correspondence, you know the type of things you do when you want to appear to be busy in work but in actual fact are scratching your bum and “pretendyworking”. I became particularly good at this in a job I had before, but it wasn’t as boring as this. Basically because everyone else here is busy, but they wont show me how to do anything more than I already know and so basically I am sitting here severely browned off because no one has emailed me in the last 50 seconds, while everyone else is happily printing off reports, talking about “important” jazz on the phone and typing away to their hearts content.

I have taken up two new habits since I started here a mere 6 weeks ago. The first is going to the canteen to get coffee (its 10cents for a cappuccino out of the machine, and it ain’t bad either, ah subsidization rocks at times). This is detrimental to my health, or rather my skin, because too much coffee makes my skin turn even more shite than normal, and also I keep thinking that I am nervous about something, when in actual fact I just have the jits from too much caffeine. I keep meaning to hit “tea” on the machine but who wants foamy milk on their tea. Ew!

Also I have taken up hanging out in the toilets. This is a particularly shit pastime due to the whole fact of it’s a toilet, and also there’s no rads in there, so its basically freezing. I like to go in there, put the lids down on the toilet and have a rest for a few mins, or until someone else comes in then I flush as if I have peed and go. It’s delightful really.

Other than that, I read blogs, like entire blogs, the archives from the very start, which is a tad stalkerish I know, and I frantically email away all day, to my friends, to my family, to myself. No not really to myself, but still. At times I want to. And its beginning to scare me.

Every job I have had since I have not been a chef all the time, has been soooo boring. Not in a cringey boring way like this one but then this is only a “temp” role and is not “perm” as the agency say. I want something exciting. I was almost tempted to become a White Water Rafting Instructor after my adventures on the Tully River while in Oz, but then seeing as I was too scared to jump off the small rock and kept thinking I was going to die all the time, I sort of thought that it would be a bad idea. Here is the criteria for my ideal job:

1: I am allowed to wear my Mary Quant inspired mini skirts to work in the winter without getting weird looks

2: If I really feel the need to snort laugh at something (usually an email from a friend or a text or something non work related) I will be allowed to and will not be given dagger looks by some other loser who works there for the rest of the week

3: No one will comment on the contents of my lunch. Yes I have fruit salad every day and yes I like it, it has Mango in it and I like Mango, and yes I like crackers and cheese, and no its not hard to be healthy I actually like these foods and that’s why I am not a fatso like you missy who has chips with gravy for lunch every day and a brekki roll from the van man for your breakfast while the rest of us have a bowl of porridge.

4: It will be exciting

5: It will be glam and finally I will be appreciated for my geek chic

Ie: someone will want to say things like “gosh Babs, you look edible today” (someone actually said this to me today whoop whoop!)

6: If I want a half day I will not be given the guilties about it

7: We will have great staff parties and themed Christmas Do’s where everyone has a good time and doesn’t just pretend like in most places

8: I will be in charge of something

9: I cant think of anything else but I know I will once this is published…bollocks

Anyway, I am off to hit send and receive again and then have a small panic attack because no one has emailed me…still…that’s at least 7 minutes with no communication with the outside world.

Comments

I really, really think you need to get a job that you're actually interested in. Preferably one that involves talking a lot. Either that, or write a book. The rate you think and type at, you'd be done in a day or two!

Posted by: Matt | November 3, 2008 2:52 PM

I do write stories but none big enough to be a book...yet. plus I would have to do it under a pseudonym otherwise I would be murdered as most of them are fictionalised reality, if that makes sense. 68 WPM last time I checked, ain't bad for a chef is it. Yes I do need something I am interested in, but what?? Suggestions pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease...

Posted by: Babs | November 3, 2008 11:52 PM