Life Without Toast - Sibling Rivalry

# inhumaneness: the quality of lacking compassion or consideration for others
# atrocity: an act of atrocious cruelty

I know I know I haven't written in aaaaaaaaages but I have been busy and also haven't been inspired for a while, until today that is.

There is a man who lives near the restaurant where I work. He is probably in his 50's or 60's and quite obviously has some kind of mental illness, what it is exactly I am not sure of, but I see him all the time and he talks to himself in the street always, chatting away, full blown conversations with himself and he makes strange faces a lot. He is always walking up and down the street, up and down, up and down all day. He comes into the restaurant sometimes, for coffee, for soup, for tea, for a chat mostly. He is very obviously lonely. He is not doing any body any harm, ever.

He was in today for his lunch. He always has soup with extra bread. He was sitting there minding his own business talking to one of the waiters. No one else was sitting inside because it was so sunny. Then he went to sit at one of the tables on the terrace, to smoke a cigarette. As he was coming back inside a table of 6 was also coming in. One of them stopped him coming in by putting his foot to the bottom of the door. Why? Because this man is different. He is "strange". "We don't want HIS sort in here". Do we? Why not? Why would we not? He was a customer, a regular customer at that, he was paying, he was not bothering anyone and yet this man, this big bastard in his pink shirt and fancy tie thought that it was right to exclude him because "he's not normal". What's not normal is how unaccepting people are. Anyone different. Get rid of them. Anyone with anything wrong with them physically or mentally. Get rid of them. Or stare at them. Or laugh at them. Or all of those things combined.

Posted by Babs at 1:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It's my old tricycle from Le Eighties made all nice and shiny and new again for Isobel, she doesn't even know about it yet, I can't wait to see her face. Ah the glorious days I spent tricycling about the place, under tables, under peoples legs, out the back of the house on the path way and drive way, wind in my "airy fairy" hair, plasters all over my legs, marmite on my cheeks, kittens all over the shop. I loved that trike with all of my heart, Raleigh Special with frogs on the seat, peddling away like I was free as a bird.

I think the reason why I loved it so much was because the siblings were too big to have a go of it so it was all mine all the time. I have some vague recollections of falling off it a few times. Poor me when I was three.

My Dad is the best Dad and the best Granddad for Izzers ever for fixing it all up so it's like new again!

Posted by Babs at 2:04 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I watch How Clean Is Your House a lot, basically to let me know that people are WAY mankier than I could ever be. I love the way that they tell you how to clean things in your home with natural products and ingredients, so after watching it the other day I decided to use this tip in work on the char grill / griddle thingamy. Hmm, they don't tell you how HARD it is to remove the mixture from the over, they do say elbow grease, I use elbow grease to clean the griddle every day, wire brush, blades, ice, more scrubbing, more wire brush, dry and oil it, this was INSANE so don't do it.

I made the mixture up, easy peasy, threw it all over the stainless steel bits, grand job, left it for about 5 hours and then tried in vain to clean it off. it took me amost 2 hours to remove all the remenants of the mixture and then I could taste it off my hands for the rest of the day, yack. Yes I know the alternative is some caustic over cleaner jazz that will burn the bejasus out of your hands but what else am I supposed to do? My normal method takes approx 30 mins every day and it's hardcore scrubbing for that long, this took 4 times as long and only made it marginally more shiney. Kim and Aggie - down with this sort of thing.

(*Best EVER top tip from Kim & Aggie - get a piece of material, a rag or whatever, small now not a whole t-shirt or anything, throw some lavender oil onto it, throw it into your vacuum cleaner - bagless is better - and then every time you vacuum it smells of lovely smells and not of old dust. You can use whatever essential oil you want, I like Rose the best).

Posted by Babs at 2:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Seeing as I can do this -

...Maybe I could apply for a job as one. I mean people need desks don't they, and I could classify myself as a fun novelty type desk. I don't know how I would hold up for 8 hours of it, but I am sure with a bit of practice it could be perfected.

Posted by Babs at 12:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Just look, look at the loveliness!

I got these for a present, I think I am in love, patent-check, high heels-check, pretty-check, deadly soles-check.

(*Irregular Choice Flick Flack)

Posted by Babs at 5:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I received this in a text message today -

It seems the place where all my Clark's Magic Steps shoes along with all the other long forgotten childhood shoes were bought, has been the victim of a ram raid, or something. Why anyone would ram raid a shoe shop is beyond me. Yes they have shoes, I am sure cash as well, but would you not be better off doing it somewhere where it's easier to get out of, rather than Drogheda, the place where you can never get where you want to go in one easy movement, instead you have to drive all over the place up and down one way streets until finally you are sort of at your destination.
Also, an Opel Corsa, really?
Today, I am mostly baffled by this.

(*I have just been told that this was not in fact a ram raid but just a car crash, how on earth they managed it with where the shop is located is mystifying me still)

Posted by Babs at 3:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Every Wednesday night during "relaxation" in my Yoga class I almost pass out, almost, my body is still there, but in my mind I am in my favourite place, or one of them anyway, my most recent favourite place I suppose, one which I may never be in again...

...here. Fremantle Docks, the place I sat and dreamed, the place I laughed with my friend every day, the place I took people too, it's just a dock, it's pretty murky looking, there are huge ships with animals on them being shipped off somewhere to be slaughtered, there are knobs in their Daddy's yachts cruising by, but then you would see loads of Dolphins in the wake of the boats, you would see Sea Eagles, Moon Jellyfish and all sorts of deadliness in the water, you might catch some fish like we did sometimes, you might catch a sea snail by accident like we also did! Oops!

I used to go there every morning, sit there reading books, thinking, lying in the sun on the docks, in my shorts and my flip flops and just think about the world, write letters to my Granny, write in my diary (lots of writing in that back then) listen to my iPod, dream about what was to come, whistle "Sitting At The Dock Of The Bay" (no really we did this a lot!) walk around to the tiny beach and watch the sunset over the Indian Ocean every evening, the sand still warm under my bare feet, write love songs on the back of supermarket receipts, it was my place, my escape, and it's where I go in my head when I need to get away from things for a while, like when the Yogi is saying things like "Re-Lax, Re-Lax take a deep breath into your chest, and just Re-Lax", well when Frankie Says Relax where do you go?

Posted by Babs at 2:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Well if what I saw today is anything to go by, there really and truly is. Now I saw condoms in Lidl a few weeks ago, but that's not so bad, supplying cut price birth control can't be such a bad thing even if they are from Russia or somewhere, but today, in the €2 SHOP (I go there to get things like shampoo, conditioner and also St. Ives Apricot Scrub, all for €2!!) I spied with my little eye Pregnancy Tests for...you guessed it €2.
I never thought I'd see the day!

(*They were looking at me really funny when I was taking the pic, like "is that girl really taking a photo, or just fecking about with her phone for a long time - I didn't use the flash or owt!)

Posted by Babs at 4:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I have no idea what the sign writers were thinking when they created this, I suppose it would make people notice, personally it made me snort and giggle all the way home!

Posted by Babs at 3:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

While driving through Dunlaoghaire the other day I spotted this in a shop I used to frequent. Home Bakers, Home Chefs...And Chancers. What the feck. Ok I know some people are chancers and make total balls ups of things and try to sell them on to the uneducated consumer, but really, do they want to actually advertise to chancers??

(*Please note: I was stopped at traffic lights when I took this photo with my phone, it was not a drive by shooting!)

Posted by Babs at 11:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday was a wild day for me for many reasons.
It's been nine years since I met some of my very best friends completely randomly at a party and I am so so glad that I went there and that we all found each other because my life would not have as many laughs in it if it weren't for them.

Instead of sitting around the house today in my PJ's wishing that I wasn't feeling so shite, I walked to my friends house in the cold wind to retrieve my baba car from the New Years Ever festivities, almost got eaten by two savage beasts (her neighbours labradors are a tad on the barky attacky side) and then I was a farmer in Rebecca and Seans field for the rest of the afternoon which was actually really enjoyable, despite the smell of the cow poo and the hay bales, and the muck and the cold and the crazy cows buck leaping about, as Rebecca put it, my eyes were on stalks with the fear, but it was great and I feel good for doing it, imagine me, who owns practically a million pairs of high heels, messing about in the wellies with a pitch fork and not really giving a shit how mucky I got when Isobel asked "carry me Sah-Yah".

Happy 2009, lets hope its as good if not better than last year!

(*PS: Sorry about the crap phone camera quality photo but we were out in the fields so no choice for that really!)

Posted by Babs at 1:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I am a person who hates getting things wrong. I rarely will admit defeat. I hate my friends who take days to reply when I communicate by phone, text or email, because I am always on the ball in that way. I hate being on my own when indoors. I get bored of anything really easily. I have never studied in my whole life. I have a somewhat photographic memory. This scares the bejasus out of me as I can remember everything no matter how drunk I am. Sometimes, you really just don’t want to remember. I wear my heart on my sleeve. This is one of my most loathed characteristics. I love housework. I wash my car every two weeks wax and polish it. My friends think this is mental. My car is my most favourite possession I have ever owned. I over analyse most situations. I talk way too much. Sometimes I even talk to myself. I know this is supposed to be the first sign of madness but I don’t really care. I am a serious Home and Away fan, and yes I do realise how sad this makes me. I sing for about an hour every single day. It is one of my dreams to be able to sing soprano but I know it will never happen cause my voice is too feckin husky. Apparently this is a good thing. Most of my best friends have never met each other because I have picked them up in random places. I generally tend to not trust people on first meeting them. This is because I used to trust way too much and got fucked over too many times by “friends”. I don’t actually know how many pairs of shoes I own…but I would say well over a hundred. I have worn every single pair of them at least twice though. I have things in my wardrobe that I have never worn but couldn’t leave them on the rail because I knew I would need them one day. I miss wearing shorts all the time since I came home from Australia. No matter how many times I have been told I am beautiful I will never believe it. If I could change one thing about myself if would be my shitty skin. Even though I wear size 10 skinny jeans I will always think of myself as a porker after I went through a fat phase just after I did my Leaving Cert. I haven’t really grown in any proportion since I was 11, that’s height, shoe, dress and bra size. This is bewildering to a lot of people. When I was in Australia I nearly drowned and it scared me so much that I haven’t been into the sea since, I only told one person that until now. I think I may be mildly obsessed with books written by recovering addicts. I really want to go back to college but I am too scared of being poor again. I am scared of dogs even though I have never been bitten. I am scared of the dark because anything could be out there. Sometimes I don’t sleep for days, I just lie there thinking about things. I miss people when I don’t see them for mere hours sometimes. I have lots of pretty dresses but mostly you will see me in jeans and t-shirts. I used to be able to sit on my hair until about 2 years ago. I have been known to vomit from shock or from becoming hysterically upset. It takes a lot to get me to that place. Most of my friends are boys. I find it easier to get along with them. I wish I could be arsed to get fit. I always wanted a baby brother or sister and was always jealous of my own siblings because they had one in me. Even though my Dad was away a lot when I was little I never remember him not being there. One of my earliest memories is staring into my cousins eyes and blinking at them for what seemed like hours. It was probably about 20 seconds. I have always wanted to learn to play an instrument but never did. The habit I hate most about myself is that I chew at my fingers when I am nervous or anxious or upset or bored. I have done this ever since I was about 8. I used to have lots of facial piercings and now I have none apart from pearl earrings. I can’t remember any of them being particularly painful. Once when I was about 7 I put one of Rebecca’s contact lenses in my eye and couldn’t get it out for about an hour – panic stations! I fall for people way too easily. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my whole life was a lightening storm beside me while on a plane to Perth. Most people on the plane were freaking out. I was just amazed as was the boy sitting beside me.

Posted by Babs at 12:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Have you ever become so engrossed in a book that you HAD to read it, not just because it was there, but because it pulled you in, made you understand a side of something that you had no experience of before...and then when it is finished you cry, because it was so sad, because what you thought would be a happy ending turns out to be not as happy as you had hoped it would be, and more so, because you wished beyond all wishes, that it was not finished.
When I first saw the book A Million Little Pieces in the hands of a girl who I met in Australia, I was drawn in by the pretty cover, by the colours, by sparkley bits, by everything, at the time I was nearing the end of my trip and also reading a really shite book which I had been given on a Greyhound bus by someone who said I looked bored, maybe that was why I wanted this big colourful sparkley book, I wanted it, she was going on and on about how great it was and I was looking at my shite book willing it to turn into something else, something new....the book that was in Zoe's hands.
It was $40AU I didn't have this to spare on a book...(I did however have this to spare for clothes etc but shhh, we all know about my addictions!!).

Posted by Babs at 12:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Friday morning wake up freezing. Drive to my mates house in the ice. Wake him up to drop me to the airport. Walk ten miles to Ryanair "terminal" which is really a portacabin. Listen to iPod for the ten seconds I am allowed to on the plane on the 40 minute journey. Find Laura. Go to her new house. Student city. Go to town. Cold. Cold. Cold. Shopping. 3 skirts in 30 minutes...oops! Christmas markets for mulled wine. Mmm. Tiger lounge for more wine. Fairly locked. Smuggle half a bottle of wine we can't drink up my sleeve somehow to drink on Saturday. Buy chips. Bus home. Sleepytime. Wake up. Go to town. Go to Pret a Manger for sambo and crisps. This will become a habit on the weekend. Go to Primark. Walk straight back out as its crazytown in there. Go to Wetherspoons scummy bar for a pint and to get out of the cold. Home. Ready to go out. Go to town. Into the Gay Village for a dance and to be offered lots and lots of drugs. Am told by a random that I am the only person who they "know" who doesn't do drugs". I don't know if this is a compliment or not. "Want some ket?" I am asked a lot. Get out of there. Am told I look like a sweet by a tranny. Hmm. Go to Northern Soul night. Dance a lot. Drink some vodka and lemonade. I don't normally drink vodka. No ill effects. It's all good. Dance some more. Music stops. Go to get a cab. Brrr. Chilly. Below zero. Get cash out for taxi. Feel very generous towards Steve the homeless lad, so I give him a tenner. He probably spent it on drugs. But I hope he spent it on a bed for the night and didn't freeze to death. Frozen fog. Can't find the new house. Find it. Cheese on toast. Bed. Up. Pret a manger for a new sambo combo and some tea. Christmas Markets again. We can move about there today. Some crazy tried to trip me up. Buy some jazz. Go to a giant Igloo for warm cocktails. Go to Somerfields. Buy food for dinner. Home. Listen to the TV because the picture doesn't work. Sleepytime bed calls me at about 11. Wake up. Boil myself in the shower. Into town. Shopping again...Oops. At least this time I buy some warm clothes...actual warm clothes. Like jumpers etc. I am amazing myself at this stage. Bus home. Make Nachos for dinner. Listen to more TV. Pack my shit. Run on the ice to get the bus. Airport is deserted. Bizarre. Flight delayed. Lots of crying babies. Land in Dublin with a less bouncy thud than the landing in Manchester. My mate collects me. Back to his house to defrost Heartbeat. Jump in. Reverse badly out his driveway. Drive home shitting myself the whole way that I am going to die on ice roads. I don't. Marmite on toast. Mmm. Bedski.
Total Spend: £224. Rawkit.

Posted by Babs at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Well it finally happened, the inevitable, Bob, my trusty goldfish, has died.
Poor old Bobser. He was 5 years old, that must be about a million in Goldfish years.
We "buried" him in a toilet paper coffin (only the best) in a plant pot outside the house.
May he rest in peace and not get dug up and eaten by a cat.

Posted by Babs at 10:46 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

So it's come to the time when Babs needs a haircut, again. I was going to go short again, but really I don't want to have to be arsed getting up a whole ten minutes earlier than normal to GHD the life out of my hair because it was too short to allow it to curl up, as in, I had an afro, and it wasn't pretty.

When I was in Perth the lovely Teeny did my hair for me twice, in her "salon" which was basically the room in the hostel we were all staying in, but she gave me the best haircuts I have ever had, and now I am mildly scared. Also I am thinking of going fringey or "getting bangs" again. People keep telling me it was nicer. But also, it's a hassle. When it rains I have this curly sue thing going on at the front of my head, I don't really like the feel of hair on my face, even though I got used to it eventually, all I know is thank fook I am not going to "The Butcher" who cut my fringe really short and then feathered it, so
what do you think?

Bangs? Or no Bangs?

(PS: Becca if they butcher my mane I am holding you responsible as you
recommended this place, and you know how scared I am of hairdressers!!)

Posted by Babs at 11:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Owwwww….owww!

So yes I know you are not really supposed to do much while wearing really high shoes that contort your ankles and feet into weird positions, but I had to, wear them I mean. To a christening, to the afters of the christening, to the pub (where I took them off for a while) and then for a bit of standing and dancing….I didn’t think they would kill so much, because they didn’t the last time, because they are well made, and were expensive (before I bought them on sale! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!) but owwwww. Pain.

I did manage to get my picture in the paper though, whoop whoop.
When will I…will I be famous…I can’t answer, I can’t answer that, when will I get my picture in the paaaaaaper…I can’t answer…I can’t answer that” I was papped, I hope they photoshop out my spot now, if its printed I suppose I’ll scan it in to show you me in all my glory, or whatever.

I think my ankles are now broken officially because of them. But they are sooo pretty. (And everyone said how tall I looked as well!)

Posted by Babs at 11:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Today, one year ago, I was just after getting into my teeny car outside Matt and Nikki's and was about to pull off when my phone rang, my friend E's name was on the screen and I hadn't spoken to her in ages so was expecting a good old chin wag, when I said hello all I could hear was her sobbing. So was I seconds later. She had called to tell me that earlier on that day, our friend Peter had died. He had taken his own life. His parents had found him in the apartment he had shared with his girlfriend until 2 weeks previously when they had split up. He was supposed to be moving to Portugal in three days time. But he didn't.

I didn't run into the house crying, I was so calm. I think I didn't believe that it was true, or I didn't want to believe that someone who had been the source of a lot of my laughter since I had known them was gone. I didn't want to believe that he would do this, that he would willingly do something like this. He was such a happy person...and what about us? What about all of the people that he had left behind? I asked this question to no one as I drove home in a daze, what about us?

Posted by Babs at 10:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I always convince myself that I have no money, it's worked it the past when I have been trying to save, and save I did. I know it's stupid, I am 25, I shouldn't be afraid to check my bank balance, but sometimes it's scary, especially when I came back from Australia and hadn't a bean, well I had some, but not as much as I would have liked really.
See I want to go away again in January, I am not sure where yet, just somewhere for a while, I am thinking New Zealand, I really should get my arse into gear and book some tickets somewhere really, but I had been too scared to check my account to even see whether or not I had anything.
So tonight ladies and gentlemen, I did it, I checked it, for the first time in (cringe) 4 months. And it's doing fine. I was hoping for a bigger amount, maybe it would be more if I wasn't so blase about it at times when I see something nice that I like and just say "fuck it I am buying this" but I won't be doing that anymore. I haven't got the space anyway, and I don't really need anything either. So hopefully come January I will have enough money to get myself around wherever I go without having to live like a total pikey.
(Maybe if I hadn't bought all of those shorts when I was in Australia...what was I thinking!?)

Posted by Babs at 10:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Why is it that when I have been sitting here for now FIVE hours waiting for the stupid "system" to start working it starts to work a mere 3 minutes before my lunch time, which now means that I have to work through, greatness n't.

 

Posted by Babs at 12:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Every time I hear this it transports me back to Perth, sitting on the "gossiping seat" with my friend Laura drinking El Cheapo Beer and a bit of a chair dance (mainly pretending we were drumming), gossiping about everything, telling each other our life stories and laughing a lot.

Today, the cold, wet, windy and basically miserable day that it was, I really fucking wished I was there, just even for ten minutes, but alas it was not to be. I am going to Manchester at the end of this month to see her and I can't wait, roll on the 27th. Whoop whoop! (PS: I really hope this embedded because as you all probably know, I am pretty much retarded at anything computery!)

Posted by Babs at 12:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Oh holy moley!

I think I have issues with Purple Snacks (Cadburys). I am now newly addicted.

I was just looking in the mirror while waiting to go pee and noticed this new "mole" on my neck, only it wasn't a mole, it was melted chocolate from my Purple Snack Binge earlier, help me, help me now. How long had that been on me, circa 2 hours and no one had told me.

 

Posted by Babs at 2:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I discovered yesterday evening that my name was the name originally chosen for me and now I am wondering would it have made a difference to who I am, if I was called something different. I know my "boy" name was going to be Luke, but I never knew about the other girl options - Edith, Deborah, Judith....hmm. I can see me as an Edith, or an Edie, but not a Debbie, or Deb, or D, or Judy, or anything else.

It's not like many of my friends even call me by my (ahem) real name even, they all have names for me, or use terms of endearment, or nothing, but trying to imagine them calling me "Debbie" or "Judy" is just too weird. Also Judy is a bit of an old lady name I think. Thank jebus for my Daddy who said he didn't like those names, and even though my name was the most "popular" (ie: common as muck) name for just about all of the 1980's and is top of the polls yet again, I like it, it is a good normal but not boring name, and it is me.

 

PS: My friend had a baby boy on Monday who as of yet has no name, hence the conversation with my Mammy, boy name ideas will be greatly appreciated, I like Conan, as in the Barbarian, not for my old child though, for someone elses.

Posted by Babs at 2:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I was browsing a jobs website, for jobs like, and saw this one that I thought, hey that would suit me in a closet nerdy way (it was for a library person in a university blah blah) so I am there dreaming away at lunch saying things like "finally a job where I get to see people and talk to people and see people, as in actual humans, not just see the blue horrible sound board thing, the Students would hate me because I would be the one fining them their drinking money for returning books late, I could say "shhhhh" all the time and people would pay attention, or they would get the boot outta my bibliotheque, I could wear my groovy geek chic clothes, it would be in the city centre, and well basically it would be a lot more interesting than what I am doing now, which is mostly nothing and then sometimes when there is something to do, I wing it on SAP and then I faff about on a website which is a "tool" for work, while simultaneously arsing about hoping for the best (ie: that they dont check my internet usage!!) and the money was brilliant, then I copped that it was only 4 hours per day, how crap, yet again my dreams have been shattered. Damn.

Maybe I should apply anyway, it would give me an excuse to go back and study something that I havent decided on.

Does anyone know if they have Careers Guidance Counsellers for adults who should really know better at this stage?

Posted by Babs at 2:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I have just been told I am the first "woman" (*in my mind I am a girl...not yet a woman..as Britters would say) where I work to wear a skirt so short. It is mig thigh. I don't get it. I work in the office of a factory. I have been wolf whistled by the losers downstairs on more than one occasion (note - I think they are losers because they wolf whistled, not because they work in a factory, they probably actually get paid more than me). Anyway, they have wolf whistled me when I was wearing trousers before. Today, in the canteen they looked at me, as if they had never seen a "woman" before. I am wearing tights and everything, really thick black ones. You cannot even see the skin colour underneath. Hmm. People really confuse me. Last week while wearing the same skirt in a different colour I was told I looked "edible" by a totally straight woman, and also "very Mary Quant" by another, but today I am a slut, because the factory lads whistled.

If only they had seen me when I was in Australia in my mini dresses and super short shorts.

Still not as bad as my own sister (yes Becca) telling me I looked "very provocative" in a black skirt with a red shirt yesterday.

I am wearing tracksuit bottoms into work from now on. Like them downstairs.

Posted by Babs at 12:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I am so boredddddd. Really. I have had nowt to do all day. They gave me this “task” to do which I thought yahoo it will take up some of the hours I have been idling away on line but no it somehow took me the computer whizz kid (not really) about 40 mins to do, and I also sent an email to my friend in the middle so only about 30 mins. I don’t understand why they are wasting so much cashola on me and to be honest there’s only so many more days of pressing send & receive and scratching my arse that I can take.

I mean at first its great, ooh I can while away hours on line “learning” things on Wikipedia, catching up on my correspondence, you know the type of things you do when you want to appear to be busy in work but in actual fact are scratching your bum and “pretendyworking”. I became particularly good at this in a job I had before, but it wasn’t as boring as this. Basically because everyone else here is busy, but they wont show me how to do anything more than I already know and so basically I am sitting here severely browned off because no one has emailed me in the last 50 seconds, while everyone else is happily printing off reports, talking about “important” jazz on the phone and typing away to their hearts content.

I have taken up two new habits since I started here a mere 6 weeks ago. The first is going to the canteen to get coffee (its 10cents for a cappuccino out of the machine, and it ain’t bad either, ah subsidization rocks at times). This is detrimental to my health, or rather my skin, because too much coffee makes my skin turn even more shite than normal, and also I keep thinking that I am nervous about something, when in actual fact I just have the jits from too much caffeine. I keep meaning to hit “tea” on the machine but who wants foamy milk on their tea. Ew!

Also I have taken up hanging out in the toilets. This is a particularly shit pastime due to the whole fact of it’s a toilet, and also there’s no rads in there, so its basically freezing. I like to go in there, put the lids down on the toilet and have a rest for a few mins, or until someone else comes in then I flush as if I have peed and go. It’s delightful really.

Other than that, I read blogs, like entire blogs, the archives from the very start, which is a tad stalkerish I know, and I frantically email away all day, to my friends, to my family, to myself. No not really to myself, but still. At times I want to. And its beginning to scare me.

Every job I have had since I have not been a chef all the time, has been soooo boring. Not in a cringey boring way like this one but then this is only a “temp” role and is not “perm” as the agency say. I want something exciting. I was almost tempted to become a White Water Rafting Instructor after my adventures on the Tully River while in Oz, but then seeing as I was too scared to jump off the small rock and kept thinking I was going to die all the time, I sort of thought that it would be a bad idea. Here is the criteria for my ideal job:

Posted by Babs at 3:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So I left Mission Beach sorely disappointed at my cancelled Skydive but onto bigger and better things!

I went to Magnetic Island, nice place, nice weather, nice kayaking, it was fun, met some cool peeps, was sort of bored and then left again to go to Airlie Beach to go on a Whitsunday Islands Sailing adventure. My boat was called the New Horizon. We drank lots of beers, did lots of saling, scuba diving, snorkelling, shark watching (only lil reef sharks though so it was ok, there were no Jaws like attacks. My bed was beside the engine room, I got very little sleep. I did see Whitehaven Beach, it is like paradise!! Then we got back to Airlie and I had a 12 hour wait ahead of me to get my night time Greyhound bus. I chilled out at the lagoon, walked about aimlessly, talked to a crazy Italian coffee shop owner and then went to the pub for our boats party. Got fairly tipsy and then swayed my way down the main street with my backpack to get on the horrible
Greyhound. I had a 12 hour journey overnight. I awoke at 6am from my beer fuelled slumber and thanked my lucky stars that we were stopping in the next 10 minutes. I downed abut a litre of orange juice in about 10 seconds such was the ferocity of my hangover.

Next stop was the Town Of 1770, so called because it was discovered in 1770. Sweet! I loved it there. Very chilled out, small town, I surfed loads (and pretty well) won the best bikini contest in my surf school for my floral number and then went on a 4 hour motorbike cruise called the Scooteroo, we ate chips and dips while watching the sun set over the ocean (that doesn’t happen much on the East Coast seeing as the sun sets over the West) and it was all very pretty.

Posted by Babs at 1:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

What is with the bloodywell mobile phone signal on this side of the country, I am still on "the mainland" and yet I have no bars. It's official West Is Best, I even had signal on Rottnest Island but not in Mission Beach, I mean I know it's in the sticks as far as the East Coast goes but seriously, that's just taking the piss. Also I am going to be on Islands till next feckin Tuesday (also on a boat sailing about the Whitsundays and hopefully doing another scuba duba dive) so I doubt that I will have any signal then. It's just annoying, I am travelling alone, sometimes you want to touch base with the outside world. Fook SAKE!!

Posted by Babs at 12:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Oops, I kinda forgot about this, so it's gona be long or compacted! (heehee who am I kidding!)

Perth was amazing, it is my favourite place in the world now, I officially heart W.A. We went to Rottnest Island, or Rotto, it was 30 degrees of brilliant sunshine, we cycled 28.5 kms in about an hour and a half, we renamed a beach "Wasp Creek" - there were lots of wasps, I hate them, I ran about like a spa trying to avoid them, it was funny! We looked like dorks on our shite bikes and helmets - mushroom heads on tour to the max! We slept very well that night. I went to Kings Park and the Botanical Gardens, it was beautiful, there was a wedding there which I thought was pretty cool - it wasn't me getting wed don't worry!! Botanical Gardens were pretty cool as well! We went to an Irish Bar, drank pints and had fish n chips! Then I went to Whiteman Park (in a Ute!!!) and saw loads of animals and got to feed kangaroos and baba koalas and it was sweet, then had some fish n chips while watching the sun go down over the harbour in Freo! Bliss! We did laundry, I bought lots of shorts on sale in City Beach, my new fave shop, we went to Cottesloe Beach - where Heath Ledgers ashes are, I swam in the ocean which was brillo pads, then I got bitten 58 times by fucking sand flies, ow! Itch Fest 3000. We went to Scarborough Beach, also groovatron! I went to a Celtic V Rangers match, that was scary! Went to Penguin Island, got attacked by the killer seagulls, the fucking chumps had laid their eggs all where we were walking, on the walkways, assholes swooping down at us, I panicked big time, Marian said it was the most girly she had ever seen me, at least I had an excuse, picture the film The Birds, only about 10 times worse and in real life. eek! On my last day we chilled out on Bathers Beach, packed my stuff, ate all of my remaining food and went fishing down at the harbour, A US Naval Ship thang - I think maybe an Aircraft Carrier as there were planes etc all over it and what looked like a runway at the end?? - was docked in the harbour, giant sailors, I think they were all on steroids, they told us there was a McD's on board, healthy eh? I got really sad when I got to the airport. Perth was the first place that I felt the feeling of "home" since I left. Sob!

 

Got to Melbourne for my four hour visit, killed myself getting from the bis station to the apartment to transfer stuff. My mate drove me back to the airport literally 4 hours later (also in a Ute - coolio!) flew to Alice Springs, it was hot and a desert!

The next day I went on my tour to Kings Canyon, The Olgas and Uluru, it was cool and also VERY hot, sweaty betty, yum tastic. Apparently my outfit made me look like Teri Irwin, I don't know if that was a compliment or not. I met a Royal Flying Doctor on the tour - really!!! He said he had an Aboriginal Ointment for my Sand Fly bites, I would have rubbed shite on my skin at that stage, so the next day I met him at the supermarket and when I put it on my skin it was instant relief, the bites are now gone, happy days! The day tour was really cool and I am really glad that I saw everything. It was the longest most boring bus journey I have ever been on though, 5 hours of nothing but desert! Wild huh?

Then I flew back to Melbourne, where it was really cold, brrrrrrr! Did all my washing which was super exciting and hung out with my mates that live there, got some sushi, got some Boost Juice (your 5 a day in a cup - or something like that!) relaxed and walked about wearing socks for the first time in a long time - I don't really wear socks at home even in the winter, I dunno I just hate them, and boots, I think it's that my feet feel trapped or something! Also I wore a scarf, it was weird. Did some other inane stuff liek upload photos and that sort of jazz.

I flew to Cairns last Thursday, I really liked it, it was nice and warm and I met some really nice people. my hostel was ok, it had a pool and was clean and quiet enough, I like my sleep, quiet is great! I went to Peter Pans travel agents the next day and booked my way down the East Coast which was a good thang, my travel agent gave me a load of discounts and pretended that I had VIP and YHA cards which was cool, go on the Jordan, or Jordy as I have renamed him, then Carolien that I was hanging about with told me that he had been looking down my top, if my non cleavage got me a discount I am very proud of my 34B's, yahooo!! Saturday I went to the Rainforest and swam in rock pools and volcanic lakes, saw and took pics of some cool things, giant spiders etc. My fear of open water is getting better and better, I am still afraid to jump in though, I don't know if I will ever get over that! We had a yum lunch in this little tea rooms, proper home made stuff Mammy style, Mango sponge, it was like my little Mama's apple sponge only with mangoes, both equally delish! On Sunday I did my Great Barrier Reef deep sea dive which was the most amazing thing I have ever done and seen, it was like being in a dream. I got to do my supervised dive with just me and my instructor cause one of the 5 people dropped out at the last minute and then the other three couldn't equalise their ears - when you hold your nose and blow - it's too dangerous to go any deeper when you can't do that so it was just me and him, yay! He said I was really good and calm for a first time diver, most people run out of air from breathing too fast after 15 or 20 minutes, I lasted 35, most PADI qualified divers only last 40 minutes, so I was well chuffed to hear that. I saw loads of cool stuff, giant sea turtles, giant clams, the most amazing coral and colourful fish and loads of clown fish (Nemos). I heart The Great Barrier Reef yeeehaw!

Yesterday I was supposed to do a skydive on Mission Beach, but the weather was shit so I didn't get to do it, Queensland is a bitch, the hostel I am staying in here is cool, only at Mission Beach there is no phone signal, booooo!! Today I did White Water Rafting on the Tully River, it was cool and scary and I was too scared to jump off a big rock into the water and everyone else did it, I started to hyperventilate and was crying but most people were really cool with it and all "well done for even climbing up there" cause they knew that I was plopping it even thinking about it, but then one asshole guy started on me telling me I was a wuss. I really hate that. Everyone told him he was an asshole. I started to smile again after that! My boat was the only one where no one fell out by accident (only when we wanted to get thrown out) my instructor Zoe was really cool and all in all it was a great day, I am wrecked now though and have to get up super early to get a Greyhound to Townsville to go to Magnetic Island, which should be cool enough, lets just hope I wake up, my whole body hurts!

Oh and I almost forgot, my most amazing Ozzie Feat has been not caving in to the goon and 2 minute noodle diet, yahoo! I am drinking moderatly and only real wine or beer and I wouldn't eat a two minute noodle in a fit, say no to beige foods - unless of course it's bread. Mmm lovely bread!

xx

Posted by Babs at 8:52 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by Babs at 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Walked to Skybus terminal in Melbourne during the busy time ie: lots of drunken people walking into me and my belongings, got there in the nick of time, listened to Nick Cave (not just cause he's Australian) on the way to the airport. Tiger Airways terminal looks like a truck container, scary, was overweight for my baggage allowance due to toiletries, note: don't buy supersized shampoo and conditioner, it may cost you $33 to bring them to Perth, I put stuff into my hand baggage bag, thank fook! Only 800g over now no moolah for the money grabbing bastards!
Got on plane after sitting with a load of total skangers in the terminal / back of the truck container, sitting in the very front seat 1B, yahoo, leg room ahoy, not that I needed it what with me having rather short legs but anyway it was cool.
Put on iPod random shuffle, some loser sits beside me and starts telling me how he paid $50 extra to get the emergency exit seat, I laughed and told him they just offered it to me, he is not impressed, this is the beginning of an eventful plane journey. He keeps talking to me even though I am asleep, the dude on my left is laughing, I think / hope out of pity. Then there is a storm, turbulence ahoy, I think I am going to die at least 10 times, then I see the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in real life, lightening inside a massive black cloud right beside the plane and I am not scared, it's amazing, an explosion every ten seconds inside a cloud, it was like something out of a film, something man made but it was totally natural. I loved it!!
Then the dude on my left starts talking to me, thank fook I say this will make the loser leave me alone, but oh no that doesn't happen, the loser keeps talking and interrupting the conversation, I want to kill him, oh he ate a family sized packet of Doritos and also a family sized packet of home brand jelly babies and drank 2L of water and never went to the toilet within the entire journey, weird I think. The loser dude starts going on about how unsafe flying is, loser!! Then he starts talking to me like I have never traveled anywhere in my life, this is coming from him who has never been anywhere in Australia apart from Melbourne and Perth, someone who has no passport, I want to to the Oz thing and tell him to "get fucked" but I don't, he is giant and also quite scary. Then we get off the plane.

I walk to the baggage carousel, the loser follows me and says he will bring me for Chinese food, ew!! Help me I think, then the dude from the left of me on the plane saves my life (I think) yahooooo!! The loser fecks off.

I meet my friend in Perth Central Train Station, we are accosted by some drunk Aboriginal men,  I am shocked, I haven't experienced fear like this in my life, there was about 50 of them and about 20 cops, and me and my friend who are both fairly small with giant bags, help! We are called white cunts, lovely!

Eventually we get into the train station and on our way to Freemantle, 40 mins on a train, I am sick of transport at this stage. I eat some Vienna roll and drink copious amounts of tea and water, flying makes me super thirsty!! Sleepytime!

It's Saturday and we loll about the hostel for the day, out in the back in the sun, everyone is wearing jeans and hoodys, I am in shorts and tshirts, I don't think I am used to the weather yet, though people who know me will know I don't wear much even in an Irish winter so night time in Perth is like the tropics for me! We get ready to go out, I am the first one ready as usual, even before the boys, I don't understand what takes people so long when they get ready for a night out, have shower, get dressed, brush hair, make up optional, ready no? Obviously not, it was all plucking eyebrows and all sorts. Hilarious!!

Three of us are Irish, two Scottish and 2 English, a nice mix, we wait in the train station for 40 mins, the boys are chucking "Goon" down their necks like there's no tomorrow, apparently this stuff makes your gums bleed, makes you vom blood and gives you the trots, not really my cup o cha but each to themselves!!  We go to an Irish bar, pints are only $5.50 yahooo (In Melbourne it was up to $10 for a drink) I stick to the low carb Pure Blond, apparently a "flashpacker" drink as in Boost Juice (like Zumo or whatever and also tomatoes on the vine!!). I think I am just being healthy. The dude from the plane and his Oz mates come to the pub, we make a party yah (as one of the Germans said before we went out heehee!!).

I get taken to a rocker bar called Amplifier by the dude from the plane, we walk past a queue of about 700 people and I get lifted over the velvet rope by this beast of a bouncer, whats happening is one of the plane dudes mates bands plays in this place the whole time so we are getting in for free yay!!! Giant Stamp on arm and free booze yum yum!! How sad when there is free drink that my limit nowadays is about 5 bottles and that's a good night when I can fit that much in, I am happily swaying about with a hat on that I have no idea where it came from, dancing in my flip flops, taking 20 mins to queue for the toilet, I hate that!!

Then we go to a party, I am on the H20 as I am full to the brim of beer (yeah 5 bottles I am a lightweight or a cheap date depending on who's talking about me!! They all love us because we are Irish and they all have Irish Parents and the most bizarro accents in the world because of it. We talk pigeon Irish for their amusement it's actually quite funny!! We fall asleep on the couch in the house where there is a party, then the plane dude drops us back to the hostel the next day stopping of to show us some kangaroos, my first sighting, I was mildly disappointed, they were teeny but only cause they are city ones and not the ones in the bush.

We go for Fish and Chips in Freo that night, yum yum is all I am saying, fresh off the boat that day and with proper home made tartar sauce, that cured my hangover, not drinking beer again, my belly is not able for it at all, only red wine from now on and no goon (ever!!).

On Monday we go to the Aquarium, this takes three modes of transport to get to, well two but two trains and a bus to get there and the same back but it was worth it, sharks and they were giant, all the dangerous fish, moon jelly fish that look like aliens, manta rays that I got to touch and I got to touch starfish and it was the most bizarre feeling ever. We got to learn all about the dangerous fish which will be handy when I get to the barrier reef and then home for beans on toast.

I have devised a new hostel diet, weet-bix (yes weet bix not weetabix) for brekki, a boost juice for lunch and soup or salad for dinner, its the only way as cooking is driving me mental, there are two many people and not enough pots or pans and all the knives are blunt as fook and I like them sharper than sharp.

Tuesday we went to the Maritime Museum in Freo, my skirt blew up lots which was just delightful and we had icecream from Baskin Robbins on the beach, lovely.

Today it is raining and I am wearing shorts and everyone keeps asking me am I not cold, what is with that, it's not cold, it's just raining, I don't like to sweat, ever!

Posted by Babs at 3:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Yo peeps, this gotta be really quick or fast or whatever you like cause I am in Global Gossip and they are charging me 3 dolla per hour for the joy of using their PC web (God I WISH I had brought my laptop!! But then where would I keep it while slumming in the hostels??)

I am in Melbourne at the moment, have rented a wonderful Hynudai Getz (snarf!!!) for the weekend and am driving (yes me in a foreign country!!) the Great Ocean Road and we are also going to Philip Island to see the sights and then I am back to Melbourne and then next Friday i am heading off to Perth (yes backwards but thats the way the cookie crumbled) to see my darling friend Marzipan (thats not her real name) then I fly back to Mel and then onto Alice Springs and then back to Mel (tigerairlines doesnt fly out to anywhere else I want to go - the bastards!!) then when I get back to Melbourne hopefully I sleep for a couple of nights - I have been haing serious trouble lately!!) then I fly to Cairns for some sunshine and so I can have an afro with my curly hair in the 95% humidity - yock, then I am bussing or car sharing all the way to Canberra stopping off along the way anywhere that will have me, then I am hoping to get a train to Melbourne - preferably for free!! - and then hopefully if I have the sponds I will be heading to Wellington to see my lovely friend who got marrried on the beach last year and who I havent seen in a long long time, for a week ish then back to Melbourne (yes AGAIN but I have FREEEEEEEE accomodation there) and then the long and tortorous flight home.

• Who ever invented flight socks should be killed.
  I have had a bad reaction to the water here, in that my legs are flaring up into a delightful rash every time I have a shower, dont worry it hasnt stopped me from showering, I smell delightful always!!
• Whoever invented annoying fellow passengers who smell like they have been drinking solidly for three days, are sweating and also havent showered for a long long time should also be de-balled (of course it was a man!!)
• Whoever invented Sushi deserves a big massive smooch from the one and only Babs!!
• The Botanical Gardens here are beautiful, they are very hilly though and because I wore my cons today and not my flip flops (I am sorry I refuse to call them "thongs") I now have a ig boo boo blister on one of my ankles, thankfully not both so I am only walking sort of funny!!
• The wine you get for $4.99 here is actually quite pallatable!!
• I want some Barrys tea SO much. If anyone wants to send me some let me know and I will give you the Melbourne address. (Also some Cadburys choc and King Cheese and Onion and a batch loaf and some real butter would come in mightily handy)
• These bullet points are annoying me already so I am sure they are annoying everyone else too.

Gotta leggit to eat something, my belly is hungry, I have no food I will have to go to the giant supermarket, shite!

 

Love, Babs xxxxx

Posted by Babs at 12:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I went to see QOTSA last night in Dublin's teeny tiny Ambassador Theatre. I love that place purely because even if you are dead late (which we were) and you are far back, you are still not really all that far back. We moved to the front fairly quickly but bot before purchasing a lovely t-shirt which was only €8!!! I am assuming it was an end of line one as they only had size small ones left which suited me grand and the rest of the tee's were about €25, but I had gotten in for free so it was like a free t-shirt too in a way.

I went with my friend Rob and about 10 of his friends, I was being well minded as they were all about a foot taller than me, it did make actually seeing the gig a different story though until one of them very kindly hooshed me up onto his shoulders which promptly resulted in a bouncer dude shining his giant maglite in my face, "I just want to take a picture" I said, he was having none of it until (this is my favourite bit)...Josh Homme tapped the bouncer on the back with his foot (while still playing the song) and said "take that torch out of her face, she just wants to take a picture, you're working for me tonight motherfucker", I loved it, the bouncer retreated back into his shell and then LOADS of people got up on shoulders. The band were posing for pics, woohooo!!!

The gig was great, dancing and singing and having a mess, then we went to the Parnell Mooney, bad move, if anyone is ever going in there I would strongly advise that you DON'T use the toilets, even if you are male, they are vomit-making!

We then went to Forte's chipper on Dorset Street and got a bag of delights including the strangest chip butty I have ever encountered, All I wanted was two slices of bread, butter and chips, but what I got was a pitta bread (???) chips, cheese (ew) and garlic mayo...very strange, it was like they were trying to be fancy. Nice chips though - yum yum!!

Posted by Babs at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

There were two instances today where I felt like the most intelligent human ever (that doesn't happen very often!!)

1: I pulled out of the driveway in work, some gonk in a small car (almost as small as mine but with a 1L engine or less), they took the corner super wide and nearly took a group of people and a bus out of it. Then I looked up, an L driver. Now I have nothing about L drivers but it was the way that they had their L plate displayed. Upside down!! If someone cannot put an L plate onto their own vehicle so that it's readable by the general public, they shouldn't be allowed behind the wheel. Seriously, did they not look at thier handywork with the hatch back boot closed??

2: I went to Tesco to get some "messages" (as the aul wans say!) I decided to save time I would go to the self check out. BIG mistake! I don't understand how people do not know how to use them. Read the forking instructions you idiots! For a start the machines TALK to you, they also have lots of words explaining what to do written on the touch screen.

There were three people on front of me in the queue, three machines working and all of these were occupied. It took me 15 minutes of queuing to scan my two poxy items. Jasus wept! There was one woman, about 30 ish I would say, dressed like she had an important job, she obviously had no brain though unfortunatly. She asked for a plastic bag, the machine asked her (voice and words on screen) did she accept that she had to pay the bag tax. It said it CLEARLY on the screen, there were big massive YES and NO icons to touch on the screen, and she insisted on not looking at the screen and also trying to ram her fifty quid into the paper money receptical. Knobarama!!

Then the attendant came over, pressed yes, the Tesco lady ate her ?50 and then instead of listening to the electronic lady saying "Notes are dispensed below the scanner" she was looking UNDER the machine, on top of the machine, basically there could have been a giant flashing neon arrow pointing her in the direction of her change and she would have still been standing there looking bewildered. I actually wanted to kill her. I am not going in there again for a while. I just needed some spinnach for my dinner. :(

Posted by Babs at 7:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So as I am sure you all know by now I am a total techophobe. It's not that I don't want to know or understand, it's just that mostly people who I want to know stuff from talk about stuff at me (this is not their fault its just I go into a daze when people start talking about certain topics).

So help me someone. I got a new iPod, it's lovely and is black and shiny. It's just a normal iPod Video 30G from the US of A from Ebay yah? So I connected it to my lovely laptop and it was "syncing" or whatever (iPod furiously flashing at me to not disconnect) this took about 10 mins or so as it was getting all my music and that, so I just turned it on there and all my music is NOT on it. What is the deal with this. It's 30G and only has about 3G of stuff on it. I know I have more stuff than that as I checked it and my stuff is not on it. Weird no? As in basically on my Creative I had about 3000 songs or more, but on this I have 827, where is all my music gone to? Its still in "MUSIC" on my vista blah laptop so why did it not "sync" or whatever hmmm?!

In other "geek" news I discovered today that I have the typing speed of a legal secretary (rawk - I knew all of that frantic emailing was would be worth it in the end!!) but I do not "touch type using the correct home keys - whatever!) . I want to learn to touch type now, just to do. I think I will be able to do it. Currently I only use one of my fingers on my left hand and three from my right so if I am only using 4 fingers now and I start to use four from each hand that will therefore double my typing speed yah? I am also deadly on Excel, who would have thought that would ever happen? I hate Excel. It is the bane of my life and it hates me back as much as I hate it.

Anyway, I am off to bed, if anyone knows what is up with my iPod please help me!

Posted by Babs at 1:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

A few weeks ago after I discovered that someone in my office was stealing food from me I wrote a nice email to my boss saying that the problem needs to be dealt with blah blah without accusing anyone. Now I knew that it was him which is sort of why I sent it to him in the first place but there were no accusatory (is that a word) tone to the email, just that I was very unhappy about the situation and it needed to be sorted pronto :)

He admitted to it and it hasn't happened since, but since then he has turned into the total boss from hell. So today instead of working in the office with all of the rest of them (all three of them) who have no idea of the general code of conduct in an office (ie: if someone is on a phonecall don't say fuck really loud, don't talk really loud, don't talk to the person who is onthe phone to a client, don't give shit to someone who has no idea what they are supposed to be doing in one aspect of their job because no one has ever shown them etc) I moved to the office downstairs and worked away all day on my own, it was great, I got loads and loads done and it was basically a very productive day because no one was distracting me with inane bullshit that I don't want or need to know anything about.

Posted by Babs at 7:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

...Or online in the Dell shop.

Now I know Matt hates Windows etc and so do many other people but I like it because I know how to use it and all that jazz and if there is one thing to know about me is that I like using things that I know how to use.

I got a new laptop - not from a second hand store...and I LOVE it.

It's a total beaut...Dell Inspiron 1525 with a Ruby Red exterior, I still call it Raspberry because it is that colour that stains your clothes and your fingers when you go to the end of my parents garden and gorge yourself from their raspberry bushes, yum, I can't wait till Summertime when I can do that once again.

So my new laptop is great, its fast, like about a million billion times faster than my old one mainly due to (or so I am told) the amount of memory on it, and it has built in wireless (which my old old oldey one didn't) and it has a bluetooth receptor or whatever it is called and its RED, it feels like silk to touch, amazingly nicer than my old crappy dull black rough one.

I am delighted with myself!

I am not however delighted with Dells telephone people. Yesterday when I was trying to get through to customer services to ask a very very simple question about my laptop which had not been delievered yet it took me 7 phone calls before I gave up trying in the end. I was disgusted to be honest. I called them SEVEN bloodywell times. I got through to numerous different departments, all in India I think, all of whom put me through to the wrong person even when I was promised that I wouldn't be and then they all eventually put me through to an automatic answering service thingy who told me that Dells opening hours were between 9 and 5.30pm and their offices were closed even though I was calling between 12.45pm and 1.45pm. I was almost in tears with the frustration.

Interlink - the courier company who delievered the laptop tp me were wonderful on the other hand and even called me twice to tell me where my package was, once to tell me that the driver was in the area and would be delivering withing the next hour and then again to tell me that the driver was just driving through the gates of where I work. I love them officially, but not as much as my laptop.

Ok, so I think you all get it now, I love the laptop, it loves me, I am scared of Vista though, but I will be ok in a while, at least I know how Windows works mostly!! :)

Posted by Babs at 12:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Yes, slidey slide, my little baby car Muriel or Heartbeat as she is known to some had a small accident last night, well, medium, on some bastarding black ice. I was driving along (in my automobile) in 2nd gear as the road was very sparkley and I knew it was super icy.

I was being careful, I was freaked anyway as I had skidded a few times already and then all of a sudden I was backwards on the road, the car spun 360, was straight for about a millisecond so calmed down a tad and then all of a sudden we were skidding down a hill sideways, I hit a kerb and turned backwards and smacked my head off the side window and then finally she stopped.

I thought I was going to die. It was the scariest thing that has ever ever happened to me. Skidding a little bit is scary enough but backwards and sideways down a road is freakishly scary. I was so scared and shaken that I couldn't get out of the car for about 5 minutes. I finally opened the door and assessed the damage in my frozen and shaken state. All lights working, no damage to the front, a hissing from a burst tyre, great!! The whole passenger side of the car was up against a wooden fence, that was broken, a big dent in my passenger side front panel and the small panel beside that, and the rest I couldn't see because it was pitch black and the car was against the fence. Panic panic, I dropped my phone three times before I got it together enough to make a phone call.

I rang Sean my brother in law, whimpering at him down the phone, "I crashed the car I crashed the car, its fucked, help me!!!". My head was killing me, I was shaking from either the cold or the shock or both. A girl who was driving behind my car had pulled in, she was holding me as I shook and cried and sniveled on her shoulder, she was my savior. I remember saying over and over "I broke my baby car, I broke my baby car". Sean came along fairly quickly and got me sorted, he doesn't feel the cold he said, he took off the burst tyre and replaced it with the spare, he pulled out the dent as much as he could. I didn't know what had happened. I was still shaking. The girl had gone at that stage.

The grass was crunchy. The road was twinkling at me. I was ok. No harm done to me. If something had been coming on the other side of the road I would have been dead, instantly gone. Black ice is a bastard. I have to get a new panel or two, I am amazed at the lack of damage. Thankfully I hit grass and a wooden fence, thankfully it was not a wall, or a car or something harder and thankfully I was going slow enough to not do any major damage.

What really killed me was that while Sean was doing the tyre people were speeding past us. How stupid are they, obviously there had been an accident, obviously the road was dangerously icy, obviously they should not have been speeding, but they were, I just hope that all of them got home safe. I was lucky. Someone was watching over me last night.

Posted by Babs at 3:03 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Today for my job I had to do a trip to Waterford City and County to deliver a few thingys and also collect a broken thingy, my boss gave me the keys to the company "truck" yesterday, I was like "em dude, I drive a Mini", he said I would be grand, I sort of feigned an agreement and then I was off. This morning my heart was pounding in work, its a Land Rover Discovery Long Wheel Base Commercial, so lots of blind spots and its about 20 foot long, a LOT longer than poor little Muriel who was left in the yard in work all day and tonight too, I hope no boy Minis have come along and been bold with her, well unless they were really hot boy Minis :)

Anyway, I was great, the Discovery was automatic, something which I was mildly frightened of. I had driven the manual one last week but I was not alone, but today I jumped into her and looked down, no clutch, aaaaaaaaaagh!!! It was grand, a tad annoying when wanting to take off really fast and that, but other than that grand. I didnt hit anything, well I softly grazed a picnic table in a petrol station but not a mark on her.

Crap end to the day though, finally got home after driving from 10.30am till 7pm and there was a number 4 bendy bus broken down ACROSS my driveway, so therefore I could not drive the giant Land Rover in there, they took three hours to fix it, who breaks down across a driveway, fuckin Dublin Bus does, we're not there yet lads, but we're getting there, is that the trains? Who cares, I was annoyed!! The driver was very apologetic I suppose!

Posted by Babs at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night I finished my Christmas shopping and I am so super excited about that fact that it is actually rather unreal to me. A few general thought about Christmas shopping, make a list and check it twice, I thought that I had my list finished, turns out, no, hence me having to go back last night and finish up. Be ruthless, if there is a long queue skip it, but not in a brash way, be all "oooh no these books are really heavy, I feel like I am about to faint etc" people will move out of your way, don't under any circumstances go shopping for yourself at the same time, this will result in extreme pain in your arms from carrying the presents in the paper bags and also all of the loot you are frantically grabbing for yourself. Don't bring a friend. It's too distracting, go it alone, people are assholes, Dundrum is great because it opens until 9 every day mid week even a Monday, which is when I normally go anyway, Babs no likey crowds, last night there were crowds, not big ones, but they were there. I met my friend there for hot choclate, the girl in Butlers asks "do you want whipped cream?" nicely to the two of us, we both gave her scornful looks which meant "load it on up there missus" mmm, it was lovely, but unfortunatly Butlers does not provide tea spoons for the take away hot choc so I walked around Dundrum licking the chocolate bits from the top of my cup, I had no choice, if they melt in its so not the same.

We went into La Senza (the undies shop) and really I was quite disgusted, I did also almost get kicked out for basically pissing myself laughing, some of the stuff in there was so Ann Summers, as in, yock!! I will describe one item and you can make your own judgements, it was a g-string, made of this horrible shiny material, with a, oh god its hard for me to find the words, it had a zip down the front, I mean, can you not just take them off if you are going to be getting busy, a zip, about 2 inches long, ew, they were vile. They also had mens stuff which I had never seen before in there. I am sad, they have dropped their standards, in other words, I'll not be going there again, yock!

(PS: Apologies to Matt for talking about underwear...again).

Posted by Babs at 9:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Today I found ?40 on the ground, at first I thought it was a ?20 but on closer inspection it was 2 of them neatly folded, they had obviously just fallen from the hands/pocket of its owner. I didnt keep it. I handed it in so to speak. It got me thinking of my time of poorness.

It was about 6 years ago, I was in 2nd year in college and I was in town, it was a Monday night and it was lashing down, sheets of rain, I wanted a taxi home but had the ?4 for the nitelink and that was all. I had been in the pub drinking with my friend. We went to the an ATM at the bottom of Grafton Street, as I was at the machine I glanced towards the ground and saw a wallet. I picked it up and inside was over ?400, someone had obviously just gone to the ATM and dropped it, my mind was racing. Could I keep it. It was over a months rent to a very very poor college student. It was all of my Christmas presents bought. It was a lot of money to me. I looked it the wallet. Passport pictures of a boy, credit cards, gym membership card, bank card, a million other pieces of identification. Could I keep it? I reluctantly walked to Pearse Street Garda Station and was pretty much pushed in the door by my pending guilt. I handed the wallet in, with all of the money still in it. They took my name and address and told me that if it hadn't been claimed that I would be the rightful owner after a year and a day. I wanted that money so much. But I thought "what if that had been me who dropped it, I would be fucked".

Two weeks later I got a letter, it was from the person who owned the wallet, attached was a voucher for Tower Records for ?50, it was her rent money, it was her money, she gave me a reward because she, like me, would have been fucked if I had kept it. It made me smile for the whole day. I sold the voucher on the college notice board for less than the face value because I needed it more than I needed the music it could have bought me. But I felt good for weeks later because I hadn't been that asshole.

When I found the money today I wanted to keep it, but I couldn't, because I know how pissed off I would have been if it had been my ?40. Do other people hand things in?

(*Note: Once, I threw a twenty euro note into the bin in the shopping centre beside my house with a reciept, the most thick thing I have ever done, I hope the cleaning person who may or may not have found it bought themselves something nice with it and that it didn't go to a landfill!!)

Posted by Babs at 12:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

If I can find an El Cheapo flight.
Ok here's the dealio, I need to book a flight to Melbourne, Oz-Tralia, for two people, either end of Feb beginning of March, or middle of April (Ciara, my travel bud is in college, she has exams or her students have exams or something) anyway, help meee!! I looked on Trailfinders and they are 1200 dolla, ie: way too much. I need to go and I want to go too. One of my bezzie buds is there now, we used to send mammoth emails constantly, now, he is jobless and has just signed up for a year on an apartment, doesnt really have the cash for an internet cafe, especially in the middle of the night there when I am in work, another of my bestest buds will be there for the three months listed. I want to go, I need to go, I just cannot fathom spending that much on a flight, donations are welcome if you like, haha!! In my dreams.

Also, speaking of friend who is there now, funny thing happened today, I was in my parents house watching Back To The Future and we were texting, I said something along the lines of "oh its awful here, almost dark and only 4.30 and pissing rain, the only thing keeping me sane is Marty McFlys shennanigans" he says "Back To The Future, its 3.55am here, how you like them apples, now I must go and have the one thats one too many", I laughed a lot and spilled tea on my new Cashmere jumper (its Penneys cashmere and I love it), Penneys gotta whole lotta things for Christmas and a lot for the family, tra la la la la, only if you are able to root through the velour tracksuits and the fake Ugg(ly) boots though, I spent 170 dolla there last weekend and came out with a whole new winter work wardrobe that fits me, then unfortunately I visited M & S on Monday night and ended up spending almost the same amount on tights socks and other assorted undergarments, they last forever though so its ok.

I know this is very disjointed, but thats how my conversations roll, over and oot...

Posted by Babs at 8:44 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

This morning I was late-ish leaving for work, I ran out to the car, jumped in and pulled out the driveway, only to be pulled into the bus lane by my baby car, "fuck" says I, so I pulled into the side road just beside my house, jumped back out of baby car, and saw to my horror what can only be decribed as a flatter than flat tyre." FUUUUUUUCK" says I again rather loudly, some boys from St. Michaels College walked past and sort of sniggered at me, "hate that" one of them said under his breath. Yes I did, I did hate that.

I pulled the jack, the lock nut, the spare wheel and the socket spanner out of the boot and got to work. I was freaking, mainly because I didnt want to get dirty, I was wearing all brand new clothes, and a skirt and tights was part of my attire, not really the best wardrobe choice to be crawling about on a dirty pathway, "aha" I thought, "I have an idea" so I got the spare wheel and used that as a seat so I did not have to sit on the dirty ground or kneel thus ripping the aforementioned tights (M & S = ?9 for tights - oh oh).

I would say about 100 cars passed me without one person even asking was I ok. I mean I knew what I was doing, Daddy Verso showed me how to change a wheel long ago, but still, I was a damsel in distress and people are supposed to stop and rescue me no? People can be real assholes sometimes. Anyway, I was half way through when a lovely lad with a northern accent came along and finished the job for me. So I want to say a big massive THANK YOU to you mister northen lad who got his hands dirty for me, he was going to the Chinese Embassy to get his Visa, he was my knight in shining armour today and I will be forever greatful.

So I jumped into the car and started thinking of the last time I had a flat tyre, I was again on my way to work, but I had seen the tyre was flat before I had gotten out the driveway which was fairly handy. I called my friend Peter who lived nearby and also worked with me to see if he had left yet and if so could he swing by my place and collect me. He came down in his car, took off my flat, put on the spare and we drove in a mini convoy to work, he then took my flat tyre to the tyre place around the corner to be fixed, brought it back and put it back in its place, he was my knight in shining armour that day.

Peter died two weeks ago, we used to mind each other a lot, I would Mammy him and he would talk to me about cars. We used to make up soap operas in work because we were bored, in these soap operas we were married and then divorced, I suppose it was one of those had to be there at the time things, I made him a Valentines Card and sent it anonomously, from his secret admirer, it was the "I Choo Choo Choose You" one from the Simpsons, it was so funny when he found out it was from me, because I think he thought I was for real, which of course I was not, I thought about all of the things we did together, we laughed, we had screaming matches, we talked about cars, we drove his car very fast (mine does not go very fast, his did, as in VERY!!), he taught me about boy racer terminology, I taught him how to get red wine stains out of clothes, he made me tea every day, and I cried all the way into work because you really dont know what you have got till its gone. I miss my Peter Pamphlet and I can never have him back.

Posted by Babs at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

(Bee-doe-day-up-bee-doe-day-up-I don't have no time for no monkey business)

I have been thinking about this for a while now due to the fact that I don't really like living with other people at the moment, more so because one of my roomies wrecks my head, and really ever since I have been doing the whole house share thing (6 years) there has always been someone who really gets on my wick.
I want to move out of my house anyway as I feel that I have been here for too long and there is really no reason for me staying as I moved to this house initially because it was 5 minutes from where I worked, but then I haven't worked in that particular establishment for nearly 3 years now, and after January I will have only one South Side friend cause the other three are going travelling etc.

But then I am thinking will I be too lonely? Will I get scared? Because when I am here and I know that I am on my own I do get kind of scared, but then I think that's just because I am used to hearing other people here and then when there is no noise it sort of freaks me out.

To be honest I am just sick of dealing with other peoples shit, I want to have my own space that is not just contained in my bedroom, I want to not come home and not be able to make my dinner because someone else is already doing that, I want to be able to shower when I want and not be worried that the noise of the electric shower will wake someone or piss someone off, I want to be able to not have to clear away someone elses stuff so that I can eat brekki, I want to be able to sit in the living room and watch what I want instead of always the Simpsons because everyone likes the Simpsons, I want to have responsibility for no one apart from me that is. In my house I am responsible for EVERYTHING, urely because I know if I leave it up to someone else it will not get done, the bins will not be left out, plastic will go into the green bin even though there is a sign detailing everything that does not go into it (apparently plastic two litre milk bottles are not real plastic in La La land), I pay the bills, I sort out everything, I sweep the floor, I wash the floor, I wash the unclaimed dishes, I dip the oil tank every week so we dont run out and get an air lock, I call the landlady, I call the police, I am the one they ask how to do things or can I do things, and I always do it. I am too nice I think.

For the past two weeks I have been conducting an experiment, I have been coming home from work and not interacting with my roomies to see how lonely I get, and so far, not lonely, I have not actually had a visual sighting of ANY of them for two weeks now, and it's fine with me, not lonely, not getting separation anxiety not anything, actually better than before. I can do what I want, I can watch what I want, I can sit here nakey and no one can say anything because my bedroom is mine, and no one can come in, and I think that's what I want my home to be.

Plus, I own all the furniture so it means when I do move out they have nothing which I know will piss off at least one person who I will be happy to piss off (a lot!) heehee!!

Posted by Babs at 7:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

www.jigser.com, go to this site and buy your greeting cards, they are only bleedin deadly (well I think so anyway!!!).
Jarlath Regan ain't so bad either, plus some of the proceeds go to Amnesty International which is always good.

Posted by Babs at 5:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I called over to see a friend of mine yesterday who had an operation to remove ALL of her wisdom teeth last week, as the dentist dude put it, her mouth was just way too small for them. When she opened the door I nearly died, her face was green, like Kermit the Frog green. Is this normal I asked her...well she said, the dental nurse said she has never seen anyone with bruising this bad after a week of healing. She thinks the dentist butchered her, even though she went to some "special" private clinic funded by Bupa or Quinn Health or whatever they are called now, she was saying that while she was having her operation, the same dental surgeon operated on SEVEN other people, sounds like a conveyor belt to me!!

It came to us to question why would someone voluntarily go under the knife for unnecessary surgery, why would someone actually wish this pain upon themselves for no real reason? Then we got to talking (yes she was sort of mumbly and kept saying "ow" but we were talking nonetheless) about a good friend of hers who was in a car accident last Christmas:

She was in the passenger seat of her boyfriends Toyota Landcruiser, asleep, while he was driving, she had the seat pushed all the way back and her feet on the dash board, the vehicle hit black ice and skidded off the road and rolled, a few times, her knee was shot into her face and she has no brow anymore, the bone above one of her eyes is missing, she has no forehead. She was in the ICU for a long time, where she got MRSA (of course) and they had to remove what was left of the bone on her forehead which is to be replaced at some as of yet unconfirmed time, her eye is no longer eye shaped it is circular and will be forever, when her false forehead is put in she will have grafts to make her look as normal as possible, she had to have her face wired back together and after she woke up only consume liquid food for over 6 months.

Myself and my friend were complaining about not being able to eat solids (I was sick with a vomitting bug on Monday and Tuesday and she with the no wisdom teeth) and then we thought about her friend for 6 months on tasteless yock food and I felt so guilty, because today I am better and yes I look pale from lack of food and fresh air, and my friend will be better and no longer have a green face next week, but her friend, the girl who was in the accident, will never be the way she was before. Her boyfriend walked away with a broken nose....DON'T let people sit funny in your car, even having your legs crossed can cause awful things in the event of a head on collision.

Posted by Babs at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

So I was in work today reading the mag that comes with the Guardian from the weekend (yes it takes me yonks to get through papers, I was busy ok?) and I come across a full page advert that looked something like this:

I mean, really, is this actually for real? Can people not just go horse riding? And also I have a question for the people at iJoyride....do you have to wear the jodhpurs and the helmet and all to get the full effect? Can you use a whip? This is by far one of the most ridiculous items I have ever seen...

Posted by Babs at 7:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I woke up this morning with a sore neck, I was wondering how this happened as I generally don't move at all while sleeping, really, people sometimes think that I am dead!! Then it came back to me, the mental dream that I had. It was definitely inspired by CSI last night (shh, I got a ddicted while unemployed). I was in my parents house and this man shot me in the stomach through the window. I remember it so clearly, as if it actually happened. I remember looking down at mytummy and there was a small hole about 5 inches above my belly-button and then I started to couch up blood, no one else was there and I couldn't get to a phone so I lay over the back of a chair trying to stem the bleeding until someone with no face came home and saved me. I was in the ambulance and they were holding down really hard on my belly and I was still coughing up blood, and then I was in the hospital and everyone I know was there, all these faces, but no words. I remember seeing people crying. And then I was fine again, but I had a scar from the bullet. Am I insane? It was a good dream, I think it would have made a good film... :)

Posted by Babs at 7:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

It's all done, the big clean up, all the crap is gone, all the dust is gone, all of the bad stuff is gone, It's bizarre looking around and having nothing there, but now I have a fresh clean space to sleep in, and no fire hazards, I have kept everything that means anything in a folder, so that when I have my own forever house I can stick it all up somewhere, hmm! I feel great!

Posted by Babs at 7:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night I was invited by my good friend Kirsty to go and see Andy Votel & Dom Thomas in Ri Ra in Dublin 2. I am not normally into that sort of thang but seeing as I was staying in the big smoke this weekend and had no other major plans I said what the feck and went along. We got mildly well oiled in the hotel bar next door, that sounds sort of glam, but it was the Central Hotel Bar and it was SO quiet, which was good, beause afterwards my ears were so full of music and laughter that it was a very good thing that beforehand it was relatively silent, plus they did table service so no need to actually get up and over exert oneself by going to the bar.

We went to Ri Ra at about 12.15 which was silly because before 12 it's only 5 dolla, and after it's 10, feckers. They do good pints in there and it was nice to see the bar keeps smiling instead of the normal haggard and pissed off look of most of them around that time on a Saturday night!

It was a great night, one of my best this year and that is saying a lot. I was wearing my usual 1950's chic with a small twist, ribbon in hair, black and white gingham halter top ($8 in H & M NYC and it's silk, bargain of the century) black circle cut skirt no tights because it was super warm last night and the twist was my DC's, I thought it looked a bit odd but then I was going to be dancing so I said whatever and ran out the door.

The funniest thing ever happened halfway through the night, they were playing a few tracks that were mixed with super cool 50's jiveish sounds so I was doing my crazy jive dancing with Kirstys friend who was over from London for the weekend when this dude who was locked walked up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and said "Are you a Billie Barrie Kid or wha'?" and then walked away, he kept pointing at me to his friends, it was hilarious but I danced it off swinging around the palce like a mad thing.

I got the Nitelink home, got talking to these two girls with no shoes on, they were hilarious, got home, had the obligatory Marmite (YUM) and toast and fell into bed with ringing in my ears. I woke up this morning with sore legs and dead arse muscles, which to me means a good night was had. I danced non stop for 2 hours, perhaps I am actually fitter than I had originally imagined.

I officially LOVE Andy Votel and Dom Thomas, and dancing like no one is watching. Kirsty commented that I danced with my eyes closed, I do that so that I can imagine that no one else is in the room, and it worked, maybe I could have been a Billie Barrie kid......

(*Note: Billie Barrie is a performing arts school where horrible parents send their children so they can learn how to dance annoyingly and always smile, they scare me, but I am well impressed that I looked as coordinated as one of them considering I had drank 5 pints!! There is no website for Billie Barrie that I can find.)

Posted by Babs at 2:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

During my short term of unemployment I was doing cheffing nixers (I do them a lot) in a friend of mines restaurant, and one of the days they said they needed me to work the grill, now I was a chef full time for three years and half time when in college but I never ever worked the grill because I went from commis to pastry and never looked back so I was scared as shit that I wouldn?t be able to it, its all about timing and steaks, steaks are not hard to cook for yourself at home, but when you have 40 orders for steaks all done at differing degrees of doneness it can be mildly frightening, but, amazingly I did it, 102 covers all day and nothing sent back, I was delighted and then the next time I was there I wanted to work the grill, so now, I am the "grill bitch" when I work there, it?s a dirty job, but somebody?s got to do it.

Posted by Babs at 8:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

In other breaking news, a very good friend of mine, my Space Twin (anyone who has read Cats Eye by Margaret Atwood will know what it means to me) who lives in London was attacked by little bastards a few weeks ago, I found out a few days ago, he was too angry to talk to anyone about it until then. He was walking home from work (he is a chef in a restaurant called Chez Bruce, it?s very fancy apparently) and was about 5 minutes away from his house in Brixton when he was whacked over the head with a bat and then beaten severely and left for dead in the street, they got £15 from him, that was all that he had, no phone or anything, and he is in bits and I am very sad for him and very angry about the whole thing.

See he was lying in the street for over three hours before someone stopped, realised that he was fucked and called an ambulance, over three hours, how many people walked past him? How can they live with themselves? He is not a big guy but I have seen him fight before and know he is well able to hold his own but they hit him with a baseball bat across the back of the head resulting in whiplash and then kicked and kicked him. He was in hospital for a few days and has not been able to work, he has tried twice, the first time he couldn?t remember how to do anything so they sent him home, and the second time he passed out during service, like totally KO?d, and that?s too dangerous, so now he thinks that he will have to give up his dreams. This is a person who will go insane if they cannot cook, cooking is in his heart and soul, it is what makes him him, and now he might never do it again which is making me sad and also worried for him. He is mostly angry because he never saw the people who did it to him, so they know who he is, but he will never know who they are.

Posted by Babs at 12:29 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

(Yes there are a few more of these babies!!)

More panicky happenings, then came the ?oh my god I am so bored I actually don?t want to do anything? phase, so I sat about in my jamas watching the telly which was back, I watched it all, re runs of the OC on late at night, the ever brilliant Home and Away, yes I love it and am not ashamed to admit it, Neighbours, Oprah, Rachel Ray (I hate her and her stupid stupid EVOO bollocks sayings), re runs of Friends, everything and anything that was on and also sat with my laptop on front of me and my mobile beside me at all times waiting for something to happen, and eventually last Thursday after I had a bit of a meltdown a la Babs, an agency called and I have now started temping for a company that I keep calling by the wrong name, I have no idea what the company do, but currently I am Dictaphone typing and doing database stuff and answering calls and invoicing people, I have learned so much about Excel in the last day, I am impressed with myself a lot, its fairly inane but a lot better than sitting in my own house alone and bored or sitting in my parents house annoying them or sitting in Becca?s house crying to her and wanting Isobel to play when all she really wants to do is climb on me and drool, so cute!! I had a nice time when I was off and got to spend time with the family and sleep lots and do things that I had been putting off like cleaning my turtle tank twice, washing all of my clothes, ironing everything and tidying things, a lot done, more to do though unfortunately.

Posted by Babs at 12:25 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

So anyway, then came the panic after the initial relief, I was freaking out at home, on my own, all day, with nothing but the internet and the telly to keep me company, or so I thought, turns out the telly wasn?t working for the first week of unemployment, so I had the internet, and my auld flower from old job to keep me company via email, she is leaving soon so is allowed to doss off and send me ridiculously long & sympathetic emails, I learned a lot on Wikipedia, and basically stalked people via the wonders of myspace, facebook and the dreaded bebo, shh now, I am still allowed to have a bebo, I am a child still in my mind!! Then one of my friends or now ex friends decided to turn into a psycho, she was a bit of a psycho before about two months ago but I let it go and thought that she would get over it, but she hadn?t, she got let go from a job that she thought she had for life and went on the dole and spent all day smoking joints (like lots and lots and lots) and skulling vodka and becoming more and more paranoid and then attacked me via email because I said that I didn?t like the sandwiches from a certain establishment. She said that I thought that she was below me because I am picky about my sandwiches, and food in general, I am a chef for jasus sake, I mean, we are picky about food, and I was before then anyway, its quite hilarious really because of the subject which she went insane over, but she is gone now and I am quite glad about it, the relief is immense.

Posted by Babs at 8:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I have decided to do this in stages, because all in all it is too long for one go, so here is part one, and the rest of the parts will be coming soon to a computer screen near you:

Matt reminded me that I hadn?t posted in a while, I really should have because I have done a lot, and a lot has happened, and then I wasn?t doing anything for a while as well, so sorry peeps!

So I started a new job in an unmentionable place which I promptly legged it from due to the person who I reported to directly being a complete bully/wagon/the C word!! I started on Monday the 8th Oct, I left on Weds the 10th Oct, shortest employment term ever, go me!! She was horrible, she had me in tears on the first day because apparently I had done something totally wrong even though she was supposed to show me and she never did, she had fecked off for coffee and a fag or something and left me there for three hours totally clueless and when she came back she was all ?oh I expected better from you, I was sure you would hit the ground running but you haven?t I am disappointed, tut tut?, I swear if she tutted a bit more her tongue would fall off. She kept on having to run off to meetings, and then told me that I should be working faster, even though I was on average 20% faster than the initial fastness targets she had set for me, the auld wagon, she wasn?t auld though, she was about 26 and had just been newly appointed the title of manager, only she couldn?t manage a piss up in a brewery or whatever that saying is, then she told me I lacked passion, (this is all on the first morning, she had yet to tell me where the toilet was like!!!) that I lacked drive and obviously had no ambition to succeed, I love the way she could tell all this after my first morning, most of which she was on her mobile talking shite to her ?friends? or out the back smoking, or doing important stuff, like walking around with a chip on her shoulder, she was mean, mean, mean, she had a mean mouth, no lips, mean, I knew she was going to be a total wagon from the second I laid eyes on her, the job was not what the job description was, and well, she was horrible and rude and a bully and I put myself through a long time working with people like that before and I was and am not willing to kill myself for someone like that, she was a right knack bag too, I bet she was dying to wear her air max into work!! I cried on the phone to the agency that got me the job and then they told me that I was actually the third person that they had sent there who had legged it ?oh yeah, she has a bit of a tendency to be a bully, just put it down to her lack of experience as a manager? I was like ?em, that?s not MY problem?, dicks!!

Posted by Babs at 12:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

It's officially 8 minutes into my 24th birthday.

So far I have recieved a beautiful Betsey Johnson bag from Matt & Nikki and also a Little Miss Chatterbox mug (very appropriate!!), a Newbridge silverwear compact mirror and perfume bottle from Becca and Sean, a book called Green Is The New Black from my beautiful niece Isobel, L'Occitane Green Tea smellies from my good friend Trishbags and a baby Toblerone from my friend Marian (it's payday tomorrow so apparently I am getting my birthday prize then!!!).

Tomorrow is also my last day in my job, eeeeek, and payday (even better!) so it's a triple celebration for me.

I remember when I was about 16 or 17 I thought that 24 was really old, and thinking that I would be married with kids! Ha! How mental is that? I don't feel any older, or wiser, maybe when I wake up in the morning I will! I am very sad this year because my Mini Mammy and Becca won't be here to celebrate because they are off on holidays and normally we do a family dinner thing where we get together and eat too much food, but this year it won't be happening, hopefully we can do it soon though, even though it won't really be my birthday then...sob sniffle!! I am VERY happy though that it's my last day in work and that my very own new year will hopefully be a good one, with an interesting new job to look forward to and loads of fancy stuff to enjoy!

I bought myself a Betsey Johnson dress on ebay for my birthday, I love it and it was only 87 squid altogether, I am dead chuffed with myself...I am allowed to buy myself a birthday present right??

Posted by Babs at 12:09 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

Oh oh I have an interview at 8am tomorrow morning, I am cacking it, its a big brillo job with great "prospects" and the money is deadly (yahoo) unfortunately I have been SUPER DUPER busy over the weekend, socialising and nixering and what not and so haven't had any time to study, this will be done before bed time, oops!

I did manage to buy not one but two suits for it in Next in Dundrum (I know I say I hate Dundrum but the fact that its open till 9pm on a Monday is brilliant and a lifesaver for me-I did go into town on Saturday to get a suit but got too hot, was starving and there were far too many people so I abandoned ship and fecked off home with a 3 bean wrap from M & S - yum!).

Anyway dudes, wish me luck that I get the deadly job, oh and that I can find the place!!

Posted by Babs at 9:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Below is an excerpt from an email sent to me by my French friend Michael, or French Mick as he is known by: I think its hilarious!

"Erin, the cowboy, & his friend from Houston, Texas whom we partied with last Friday.(we introduced him to the talented Daniel O'donnell? Ireland's own Elvis Presley)."

(*Note: Michael has a Daniel O'Donnell ashtray in his house and also a Daniel plate, creepy tastic, he is not a fan, although some may beg to differ).

Posted by Babs at 4:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I am packing to go to New York to see my mates, why do I always take too much stuff, I have 10 pairs of pants (as in knickers) I am going to be there for 7 nights, this was beat into me by my lovely Mammy when I was in scouts, its not going to rain and I am not going to wee myself and even if both of those things happen, I still have spare pairs, and 4 pairs of shoes, and too many clothes to think about, and I know I will end up buying loads over there too, is it legal to be this obsessive about what I am bringing, help!!

Posted by Babs at 11:41 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

On Sunday night at 12.15am I was breathalised, for the FOURTH time since they brought this in a while back, I don't even think its been a year since the first one, now, I am all for it, but really how come I get it done four times (all of which have read ZERO) and people who I know, who will get hammered, get into the car and drive home without ever ever being stopped? I know its random and all but really!! The first time was my favourite, I hadn't been drinking at all in about three weeks and yet still could barely speak to the cop, Justin was his name, with the nerves. Justin pulls me over, there is me with the L plates on and driving unaccompanied, he didn't seem to bothered by this, anyway, so he does the speech, I breathe for about 20 minutes into this thing and then it says zero, "congratulations you have passed" says Justin, then I try to drive off with the handbrake on, well done Sarah. I am surprised they didn't search the vehicle!!

The next two times were uneventful, last night, another cracker, "What's your name madam" (Madam??) "Babs McGinty" I say (ah no I said "Sarah Verso"), "Verso, thats a very unusual name" (I am thinking is this against the law now??) "Where are you coming from?" they ask me, "ah work, you know yourself", then "and where are you headed", then without thinking I say "I'm off out to a party" (why why did I say that???) then he clocks the box o beer on the passenger seat, gives me a filthy look as if to say "you're fucked now" and then does the speech about the test and gets me to blow into the pipe, I am again cacking myself even though its been about 36 hours since my last beverage of the alcoholic variety" CLICK it goes, and it says Zero (YAY!!) phew, and then the lady copper goes "you're car is deadly" (Deadly!!?? I mean it is and all, but what cop says that to someone just after breath testing them? Then the Lady Cop starts asking me all the questions about the Mini, lunacy!

The thick feck never noticed I had no NCT though did she?? Me: 1, Silly Coppers: 0.

Oh yeah, and they gave me the pipe thing that you blow into to "dispose of at my leisure", that's just lovely isn't it?

Posted by Babs at 11:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday morning was lovely, but on the news (Today FM traffic & weather together) they had forecasted rain, so I braved the sun in my jacket and cycled into work, I was roasting when I got in but soon cooled down to my delight and then the rain came, so I was happy that I had brought it with me in the end, then the sunshine came again and amazingly enough stayed for the entire day and evening, I was chuffed apart from sweating it out on the bike on the way home squinting away without my lovely shades that had been discarded that morning, my old roomies mate Donncha was coming over to collect stuff that he had left behind and was waiting on the doorstep when I arrived, with a box of Lindor from Lindt (my fav), we drank copious amounts of tea (from a pot - cause I am fancy) and sat on the bench in my Amazonian garden (grass hasn't been cut in a while, I would say approx 6mths), then we went out to the driveway where I discovered that his exhaust pipe was literally hanging off "you would want to get that sorted" says I, "yeah I must" says he before he roared off into the sunset!

Posted by Babs at 11:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Ok so someone has to give me proper advice on this BEFORE Monday avo when I call the customs bastards. I won this handbag on ebay, I would link it, but I am not arsed at this stage and also, too lazy to go look for the link, anyway, all in all including postage and packaging it cost me ?198, and then I get a notice in the letterbox today informing me that I owe the customs 50 fucking euro, sorry for swearing, but I do it, and I do it more when I am angry, WTF seriously, are they allowed to do this, and where did they get this ?50 from, is it just a figure they pulled out of their arses or what, I am mucho confused! And also, instead of holding it for collection in my local post office sorting place, they send it to the headquarters where I cannot get to, should I sue? Or what? I want my feckin bag, but is ?50 extra too much, a tenner I could handle, the value I paid was about ?150 so is the customs rate 33% or what? HELP MEEEEEE!
Thanks!!

Posted by Babs at 12:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

So the lovely Marian who sits beside me in work, who I basically go on the doss with, and do lunch with mostly went to the dentist today and was told that she had to have ALL of her wisdom teeth out (does that mean she will be unwise??), so we were talking about it for most of the day cause neither of us had any major goss, and also, she was fairly upset about it, and then all of a sudden I began to get pains in my own wisdom teeth area, now, I have all of mine, completely, all perfect, not coming up any more, so how the fook am I getting pains in them now after almost two years pain free? The only explanation I can come up with is that I am having sympathy pains for her? Is this even possible? Who knows? But one thing is for sure, its very painful, so much so that I cannot sleep and as I refuse to take pain killers for anything, I guess I am up for the night ? groovy eh?

Posted by Babs at 12:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

I know, I know, its been way too long, I do apologise, but there are reasons why it?s ben long time, no post., I have ?restricted? access on my computer in my new job, therefore I cannot whittle away the hours online like I used to, I have to actually work, which is good in a way because at least I feel a bit productive, but then it?s also shit, because I can?t fart about on line all day and do posts and buy crap I don?t need just because I am bored, and upload pics, or any of this stuff. But, it?s the only thing that I don?t like about my new job, so yay!
The other reason is that the time that I had online at home was not much, and I needed it to be able to do all of the other things that I was unable to do during work hours. Plus I have been a busy bee, first, I started a new job, then I got sick, really sick, I was deformed for a short time and still sport a scar above my right eyebrow from a shingles blister that was the main cause of the deformation of Babso?s face, I am told it may never go away, lovely, another war wound to add to the collection. Anyway so I was back to worky work then and had to catch up on a load of crap, namely relearning everything, that was fun, not!

Posted by Babs at 12:24 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by Babs at 12:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

1: I have been told to take the rest of the week off to recuperate from being ill by my boss, and I really want to go back tomorrow but he won't let me, is this weird.

2: Out of 5 people who were in my house last night none of us had injection marks on our left upper arm - this is very weird as we all scar normally

Just thought I would share those.

Posted by Babs at 4:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

So as you all more than likely know at this stage, I have the (poxy) Shingles, on my face. It's very sore. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy (seriously). Now if it were on any other part of my body I wouldn't be so upset (I think) but it's because it has basically deformed one side of my face that every time I look in the mirror or if someone who hasn't yet seen the Quasimodo face sees it, I start crying. (Or if I am on the phone to the VHI nurseline nurses who are fantastic I must say - really brilliant at helping calming me down and telling me repetitively that no I won't look like this forever). Now I know that Matt has seen it, but no one else has, which is why I have taken photographic day by day evidence pics (mainly for my new employers in case they don't believe that I am actually that bad) but also so I can gauge my getting better-ness. I will post them when I am better along with a normal faced Babs pic so you can see and hope and pray that you dudes NEVER ever EVER get this.

Night! (I am drugged to the eyeballs on painkillers - woot!)

Posted by Babs at 12:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

I haven't been tagged, but I am off sick from work today - so meh:

Three Things That Scare Me
~ skangers
~being sick because I never am
~motorways

Three People Who Make Me Laugh
~ Conor & Liam as one (my two roomies)
~ Trishbags
~ Any one of my family members at any given time

Three Things I Love
~ Marmite on toast with real butter
~ Really cold Erginger
~ Living near a beach

Three Things I Hate
~Arrogance
~ When people wind me up when I am oh so obviously not in the humour for it at all
~ Overcooked food

Three Things I Don?t Understand
~ A lot of maths (like the hard stuff, not adding etc)
~ Peopl who refuse to wear a seatbelt / indicate / check their mirrors / drive at 70mph in thick fog
~ How come I used to have size 6 feet (39) and now they are a 5 (38)

Three Things On My Desk (its more a dressing table slash desk so...)
~ 2 mirrors
~ make up
~ coconut oil (for my hair)

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die
~ Own a gaff of my own
~ Go to India and learn yoga from a master
~ Meet all of my living relatives

Three Things I Can Do
~ Counsel my friends when they are having a hard time
~ Make strangers feel like they've known me for years
~ A tripod headstand and then jump into a handstand with no one spotting me and no wall (only since last week - its all in the shoulders)

Three Things I Can?t Do
~ Stop talking (a lot)
~ The lotus position due to my crappy Verso ankles
~ Maths

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To
~ Today FM on a Sunday avo with Jim O'Neill, best ever music!!
~ Your own advice
~ "Dear Jessie" by Madonna (I recently rediscovered this gem)

Three Things You Should Never Listen To
~ A used car salesman
~ People who smile with their mouth but not with their eyes (total sign of slyness)
~ A kango hammer

Three Things I?d Like To Learn (but won?t)
~ To be a weather person
~ How religion makes people kill
~ How to drive a truck

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid
~ Flintstones
~ Bosco
~James Bond Junior

Posted by Babs at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Help me ... I have a swollen face, it's not visibly swollen, but still scary to feel. I am convinced I have Bell's Palsey, even though I have no symptoms, all under my eyebrow is swollen and sore, and also I have a big lump in my jaw, sobaroonie! What if I wake up and I am the Elephant Woman. I am unimpressed with my immune system, I haven't been to the doc since November 2004 when I had a horrendous chest infection. I don't even know what time the surgery hours are ... worst face in the world.

Posted by Babs at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

(Apologies to Matt for again talking about underwear but I have to....)

So I went bra and knick shopping this evening with my shopping bud Lyn, and as usual went to M & S (cause they are the best ones ever) and managed to spend over ?100 on undies, is that insane, there were three bras and three pants (mathcing obviosly) , I didn't even think about it till I got home and was cutting off the tags and one of the pairs of pants was 12 poxywell euro, what the foooook?? Seriously, are they made of gold or something. I don't understand, considering the bra that matches them was only ?24!!

In other news, I also bought two of the same jacket in different colours, is this insane?

Posted by Babs at 9:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

So after MONTHS of not reading a proper book, by proper I mean a book that is not some easily read chick lit heap of shite that I have borrowed from one of my female roomies, I have finally dug myself out of the trap of trashy magazine (ie: Now, New, Heat, Grazia etc) and shitty crappy crap books and started to read a failly intelligent book, Fermat's Last Theorem, I stole it off the top of the microwave in my house, it is my Statistics Studying roomie Liam's book, and I cannot believe that I can a) read it as maths actually scares me (not adding like, but you know theorems and the like) and b) that I am actually understanding it, "woohoo" I say.

So being in this frame of mind I have gone insane on Amazon and in Hughes and Hughes in Dunlaoghaire, and have bought a total of 11 books, I hope to do some reviewing of sorts, but I am not promising anything.....and I am also posed with the problem...which one do I start with, I have whittled it down to three favourites: John Peel 'Margrave Of The Marshes", Margaret Atwood 'The Tent' or Ernest Hemingway 'A Movable Feast' hmm, its ok, I won't be finished this theorem thingy for at least another week.

(On another note...I ate far too much dinner and have now got what I can only describe as a food baby, in that my normally flat tum is now rounded and full of food and a muffin, I am considering vomitting, whoops!)

Posted by Babs at 10:22 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Oh Jebus, I found a grey hair, well I think its one anyway, Matt couldnt see it earlier, but I don't think that he was looking hard enough. It's either grey, or blond, and I can't see how I have a blond hair because my hair is so dark, aaaaaaaagh. I am 23 dudes, is this the end of the world? Is it because I was so stressed out because of my unemployment? Should I pull it out? Or is the old wives tale about three growing back to replace it true? Advice needed pronto s'il vous plait!!!

Posted by Babs at 1:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

I started the new job last Monday, big mistake, I hated it. They ?forgot? that I was starting that day (there was 4 people there before me and I was the fifth, its not like they had a million employees or anything) so they had nothing set up for me at all, yes they should really purchase a diary to pencil these things into. Anyway, they were dicks from the word go, no training, no training manual, no showing me how to log onto the ?system? they have NO passwords for anything which I find a bit thick seeing as they are a website, and these things are apparently very easy to break into.
They gave me dirty looks everytime I left my desk (for pees and tea making purposes) expected a person who had only been there three weeks to ?train? me in etc. They gave me no information on the company and kept on using shite ?buzz? words, which I fucking HATE with a passion, all this COB bollox, fuck off dude, just say ?at the end of the day? or something equally normal, COB my hole is what I say. Maybe I am not a professional, but these guys were taking the piss.
My email was down for 4 days and they didn?t seem to be bothered that I couldn?t communicate with customers, and their internet connection was shite too (yes this is a website remember). All over the shop, completely unorganised to a ridiculous degree and had NO people skills. They totally lied to me in the interviews. There are two of them in it, a man and a woman, the woman was a weapon, basically ignored me the whole time, she obviously has major issues, and the man, who was the rudest fuck ever. Anyway so I got mass pissed off yesterday when he ?shhh?d? me twice when I was on a call to a customer who was on their mobile hands free. I was talking at a normal level. Yes I have a loud voice but I was far from shouting. And he also moved me away from one of the other girls because I sniggered once at 27 mins past 5 on my first day, in case I distracted her or some shite. Wanker.
So yesterday they went out to lunch (early) and I emailed him, told him the sceal and ran away (hahhaha). I am a coward, but I wont stand for that shite, no way Jose. Help?..I am unemployed?.its insania!

Posted by Babs at 1:01 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

So yesterday was my last day in work, I have to say it was bizarre to say the least, even more bizarre than when I left the hotel I used to work in after nearly 3 years?leaving behind the daily bollocks made me happy, but leaving behind all of the wonderful friends did not. I loved where I sat, beside the window so I could open it and close it as much as I wanted and always enjoyed the afternoon sunshine beating down on me even when it meant that I couldn?t see my computer screen, the best thing about my seat was that no one could see my screen, so basically I could piss about all day and no one even know anything. I loved my parking space (when I got one?but that?s another story), I loved the canteen where we would sit for an hour at lunch time and look at the builders (or Doozers as we liked to call them) while people would walk in, see my carefully prepared balanced lunch and make comments like ?oh my goooood you are so f*ckin healthy all the time, I never see you eating any rubbish? (as if that was a bad thing) and in my head I would answer ?for f*ck sake looooser, you say that to me every single day that you see me, think of another comment, plus I actually LIKE this food, which is why I am eating it because unlike you, you breakfast roll eating f*ck, I don?t NEED to go on a diet, I have actually got a quick metabolism, and also, if I eat sugar or other shite, I feel SICK, I have told you all this about a million times, why don?t you just f*ck off!!!!!!!!!? (yes really, I would actually say this inside my head, just to make myself feel better). Or other comments would be made like ?what?s THAT????? and it would be something like hummus or quinoa, or something equally normal. I will miss my team, well two of them anyway, as the other one member was a dick head, I named her ?Brekki Roll? which then just turned into ?The Roll?. She would eat one at least every day and was the nosiest f*ck ever in the universe, she would see me telling someone something and be all ?what?? WHAT what are you talking about? basically she was a knacker, who thought that she was dead posh, and she ate the smelliest food in the world at her desk, she had worked there for almost nine years and thought that the company would die without her, she moaned about everything, and I mean?everything. She was enormous as well, and had suffered a massive stroke about 2 years ago, she was 44, and yet still ate more shite in one day that I would in a year. Everything was processed shite, sausage rolls dripping with grease, at least a packet of biscuits every single day without fail, marsh mallows by the sackload, peanuts, crisps, mars bars (like 3 a day) and then would ask me how she was going to lose weight, when she found out that I was a former chef, she even asked me would I come up with a diet plan for her. I don?t think that she quite understood that most restaurant food is laced with butter, cream and salt and other bad? foods when eaten too often. I did however manage to keep it from her that I was leaving until Monday last (which is a fat in itself because everyone else knew!!).

Posted by Babs at 11:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

(Woohoo!) So yesterday was my 2nd driving test (yeah I failed the last one due to total panic after I fooked up the reversing around a corner). It went great, I totally love myself now, driving around the streets without my L(oser) plates, looking groovy!

Embarrassingly enough for myself I cried when he told me that I had passed, I tend to do that a lot when I get good news, he was a lovely dude my tester, some country chap, he went and got me a tissue and all, and then piped up as I was walking out the door ?don?t be driving like a lunatic now? ? gas?

Go me anyway, I rock ass officially! (and here are some pics to prove it s?there!!)

Posted by Babs at 1:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (20) | TrackBacks (0)

So we had ?slipper? day in work yesterday, it was for charity, the Samaritans, we had to donate ?5 if we wanted to wear slippers in work for the day, nice idea, unless you are me and forget until 7.30 the evening before, and then have to drive to Dundrum* at high speed and then wander around looking for cool slippers, which I found, for the amazing sum of ?4 in Penney?s / Primark. (yay!) Also I managed to spend ?44 more than that on other jazz, including, yes, you have guessed it, more pants / knickers (which I needed!!!).

Anyway I got jeans and a dress, and pants and slippers all for under ?50 which makes me so happy. But I have shrank, and I don?t know how. The dress is smaller than usual and the jeans, well, I never tried them on but they are HUGE on me, now I am wearing them anyway, because they look intentionally slouchy and actually quite cool, but I will be getting the smaller ones too, and then there are the slippers, I was a size 6 / 39 forever, then a couple of years ago it changed to a 5, but the slippers that I bought are a ?small? / size 3-4 / 37-38, WTF??? I don?t know what?s happening, are the clothes / shoes just getting bigger or am I somehow shrinking?

Suggestions on a postcard please.

*Big shopping centre / mall, stays open till 9pm every day.

**I know, I look demented in the pic, we all got one taken in out slippers to highlight the ?relaxed? state of mind we were all in yesterday.

Posted by Babs at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

(Dedicated to Winds...)

Swim, swim, swim, swim, poo, eat, splash, splash, swim,
Tank: ?ooh I know I will try and get past this giant rock in the tank and get wedged there for hours until Babs gets home, oh here she comes woohoo?
Babs: ?you are a fucking idiot Tank?
Tank: ?oooh she set me free, I wonder will she give me any of that yummy dried river shrimp stuff, mmm mmm good?.
Swim, swim, swim.
Tank: ?I wish that these other turtles weren?t here, why does Babs feel the need to adopt other peoples turtles, these two here aren?t even the same, now I?m not being a racist or anything, but what the fuck is with their red ears, seriously!! Although the girl one is hot I suppose?
Splish splash,
Tank: ?oh lights out, lets try and piss Babs off when she is trying to sleep by beating the heads off one another, that will be great, maybe then she will feed us?..?.
Babs: ?Shut the FUCK up Jasus, what is wrong with you, Roomie* take your fucking small turtles back?,
Roomie: ?yeah I will, yeah, no problem, em, I will clean my tank out tomorrow? (**)
Splish splash, ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Tank: ?Woohoo, lights on, food time, yay? ? plop-plop?plop-plop ? ?this fucking container she puts us in to feed us is shit isn?t it?
Roomie?s female turtle who has no name ***: ?oh you?re talking to me know, even though I have RED ears, fuck off yellowbelly?
Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, plop-plop-plop-plop,
Tank: ?yay freedom in the tank, victory is mine, I am free apart from these four glass walls that keep me off the carpet?
Swim, swim, swim, splish, splash.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(* Not my roomies real name)
(** He has been saying this since November)
(*** She has never had a name, aw!!)

Posted by Babs at 9:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

I was getting my clothes together for today yesterday (yes I do that every evening, it saves hassle but is a tad obsessive I will admit) and I decided I would count my tights collection, and I have 35 pairs, is this too much? I had more, but threw out about 10 last night, M & S are the best as they last forever, coming in at a close second are Penney's / Primark (and are cheaper) followed by Wolford ones, Top Shop ones are cack I think and always rip. Also, is it wierd that I think that "fleshtone" tights / stockings are just wrong? They look like saggy skin or REALLY shiny skin. Anyway, next time I am going to count my socks, yes, I am that bored sometimes. (shh!!)

Posted by Babs at 3:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

So I was sitting at my desk today in work and we received an email from the lovely Amy who is our Health & Safety Rep telling us all about the new canteen duty rota, we have a cleaner but the way that the canteen is left is totally manky and I feel so sorry for her to have to clean up after some of the dirtbags who work here, they leave coffee grounds and teabags in the sink (this I don?t understand?do they think that its going to set the bin on fire or something?) also plates with food on them, bowls with mouldy cereal encrusted on them and they NEVER put anything into the dishwasher, I think they should have a camera in there to catch the dirty culprits but my idea has been turned down for some reason (!!). Basically they have come up with this roster thing that we all have to stick to which means that we have to clean up the canteen after these individuals who feel the need to walk past the bin, then past the dishwasher, to leave their (unstacked) crockery on the draining board. They also seem to have some sort of mental issue with putting milk back into the fridge. Old milk + hot coffee / tea = dry wretching from me. Do you think they would give me a sick day for that, they should!! I am annoyed about this roster thing, I am planning to stage a protest of some sort about it, one good thing though, when I am on ?duty? I am on holidays, so they can stick their roster up their arse!

Posted by Babs at 1:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

It was last Thursday when this happened, but I have been busy and stuff?..

So I am coming out of the drive way of my office block, and there is a cross road beside me, I am turning right, it is a staggered crossroad, there is a car waiting to go from the road across from me, he has no indicator on, so I go, he obviously thought that I was telepathic or somehow knew that he wanted to turn the same way as me, but I didn?t, because he had no indicator on. So he is behind me, shaking his head and that, tut-tuting, I am thinking ?what an idiot? then as the traffic moved foreward the guy decides now is his chance to frighten the bejasus out of me, he drives up on the grass verge to the left of me so close that he clipped my wing mirror, and then starts to try and get on front of me, I am having none of it. In my head I am thinking ?I won?t let you beat me?. My friend was in the car on front of me, he was looking quite concerned at the situation. He tried to get on front but cut the car out on the process. So I drove around him. And then he went on the verge again and started to laugh insanely. I locked my doors. My friend in the car on front put on his hazard lights, I was thinking ?oh-oh?. My friend gets out of his car, walks to the insanely laughing mans car and knocks on the window. He asks what the guy is doing, and the guy just laughs in his face. My friend politely asks the insane guy to please stop trying to ram his friend?s car, and walks away. I think ?ok maybe now we can move forward? but he did it again!!!!!!! So I let him go, not without taking his reg number though. I don?t know if I am allowed to post it here, so I won?t. But he had no NCT, no tax or no insurance. So if I am feeling like fucking someone over someday, it will be him. And not without due cause??.

Posted by Babs at 1:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

Is it just me being really pernickety or do other people hate this too. A lot of my friends who would be somewhat pretentious but who like to be seen to be ?keeping it real? have decided to turn their backs on their roots and to start using words that I would consider to be predominantly American such as ?awesome? and also ?Mom? or ?Mommy?. I can?t even handle the ?mum? thing. Most Irish people do NOT call their mothers ?Mummy? or ?Mommy? so why then when they hit fifteen does the ?Mam? turn into ?Mum? or ?Mom?. I think that its peer pressure, using words like these make people appear to be more refined (or so they think). It?s a farce as well cause when they are actually speaking to their mother they will call her ?Mam? but then to their apparently ?cool as fuck? mates its ?oh my Mum / Mom says blah blah? how sad and needy are these people? I can make exceptions when the mother in question is ACTUALLY from somewhere that uses ?Mum? as the word for mother but other than that it?s terrible. Also back to this ?awesome? thing, when did Irish people start top use this word, seriously, its getting to be beyond a joke, people who I thought were not so easily influenced actually are!! Its like some sort of a phenomenon (or something!) Anyway it?s really annoying. So I say ?Say NO to Awesomers!!!?

Posted by Babs at 10:55 AM | Permalink | Comments (7) | TrackBacks (0)

So I was out in my parents gaff on Friday night (yes the same parents as Matt) and the feckin electricity was gone due to gale force winds, not impressed basically and neither was my Mam, she called the girl in ESB and was told that this was only happening because of the increase in the amount of new gaffs over the past few years, Mam?s response was basically ?I don?t f*cking think so, this has been happening for 20 years? and then she realised that she was talking to someone in Cork!! Anyway, I got bored very quickly and was getting a headache from trying to read the Irish Times Magazine (from two weeks ago) by candle light, so I fecked off down to my sister Becca?s house. Becca is VERY pregnant and therefore unable to move about much so we just sat on the couch for ages chatting and getting all excited about the baba and making bets with her husband about the sex of the baba etc. Anyway, so then she was all ?Ooooh? and told me to touch the belly and I FELT THE FECKIN BABA MOVING!!! It was weird like a little alien thing inside her, I think it was an elbow or something, it must be so squishy inside the belly. The first thing that she said to me was not ?isn?t it amazing? or anything like that, no my lovely sister says ?don?t you start feckin crying? I was disappointed cause I could feel myself well up. I am a sap, did you not know this already? Anyway, now it feels more real to me, like there is an actual human there. So in 6 and a half weeks (hopefully) it will be born and it will be deadly!! Woohoo! In other weekend news, I worked my nixer in the restaurant yesterday, and me and Rob (yes just two of us) did 200 covers all day, crazy busy but not up the caca once, bizarre! We had great fun belting each other with wet tea towels and generally annoying the shite out of each other. Also the restaurant was reviewed last week, I think they must have paid of the reviewer, they were going on about how great the manager was, he is a knob of the highest order and basically the creepiest man I have ever had the displeasure to meet. In one word: YOCK! Anyway that was it, my weekend, not as exciting as putting together flat pack furniture, but then again, how could it compare!

Posted by Babs at 9:31 AM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

I was in Galway on the weekend with two of my four roomies, or roomdawgs if you please, and when we got home on Sunday evening we found a plate with toast crusts on the doorstep and a teacup, we thought that the lads had gone mad, actually mad, we were trying to figure out how this had happened, thought that they were taking the piss etc, but neither of them were there, so basically we left it there till they got home / up. Conor aka: Ricky B was up first (was on the old night shift in the baby factory) and he explained what had happened. It sounds like an unbelievable tale, but it true, this is the story of the Mutant Ninja Bum, Conor got home at approx 8.10am on Sunday after a night of hard work and saw someone sitting slouched on our doorstep, thinking that it was one of us for a split second he started to laugh, but then realising that none of us were there, he soon copped on, ?don?t get out of the car? he told himself, sohe reversed and saw what was an old lady bum, with strips of black fabric all wrapped around her face (like a ninja apparently!) so she was fucked basically, all over the shop and had blood on her face and smelled like wee, and was shaking and soaking wet, so he went to the garage across the road, got some ingredients, and made her brekki, he didn?t bring her inside (smelled like wee remember) and some tea and gave her his favourite jumper (sheesh!) and was the best ever good Samaritan ever! So he went off to bed and then she was gone. Flick to Monday morning, she is there again, I opened the door and almost stood on her, she scared the bejasus out of me, started telling me that she lived there and why would no one let her in (obviously lost her marbles) I felt so terrible but was already mad late for work and that (stayed up talking shite till 4.20am) so I had to run past her, this was after screaming from the shock. Then the other roomies also got scared when they were leaving. But seeing as we didn?t feed her, we thought that was the end of it. No sign on Tuesday, then on Wednesday I was off, so was Eimear and Conor was in at 8am, at approx 7.15 Conor was banging on my door and me in my sleepy hazy dreamy state was all ?I am NOT IN TODAY MAN!!!!!!? and he was like ?can I come in pleeeease!!? so I said yeah and he jumped in the door almost landing on me and whispering ?the bum, the bum, the bum is outside what am I going to do I have to go to work, help me?, apparently she was banging on the door and scratching at it and ringing the doorbell all night, (I love the way these things don?t even wake me up!!) so we decided that he should jump over the back wall into Tesco underground carpark, good idea? No it wasn?t!!! He was covered in old leaves and other jazz and there was a beat cop looking at him, then me and Eimear went onto my balcony and started to flap about in our jammies, then we saw a beat cop (yeah same one!) and alerted her by jumping up and down and pointing, she got rid of said bum and then knocked on the door, she came into the house, and told us that she thinks the bum has some ?psychological issues? as she said that she lived in our house and was waiting on the bus and loads of other stuff, she hasn?t been back since but every time I open the door I think she will be there. She is scary looking but I would say fairly harmless, apart from the fact that she has been weeing on our doorstep and that!! Erk!

Posted by Babs at 10:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Definition of Work

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather do something else."

Sir James M. Barrie

(Courtesy of my lovely friend Su Bleu)

Posted by Babs at 3:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

My friend in work Louise surprised me today with an early Christmas present, all nicely wrapped up in tinfoil I might ad, now we all received an email telling you how to make slippers out of Sanitary Towels, so Louise took it upon herself to make some for me and boy are they lovely, I actually put one on and it was surprisingly comfy?but extremely strange. I think that they are brillo and also I am so happy to know that there is someone out there who I a little bit as mad as me ? yay!

Posted by Babs at 1:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So I was driving home from work the other night and it was horrible weather, all rainy and dark, and people were being really stupid and driving up my arse etc, and then when I was on the home stretch just beside RTE disaster struck, there was an Audi A6 on front of me indicating to the left, so I was moving off slowly to go around them, then they were nearly all the way into the driveway and they jammed on then a little fuck on a motorbike zooms by I jam on swerve to miss him and ended up in the back of the feckin Audi, this is quite possibly the worst thing about the crash, that I crashed into an Audi, it couldn?t have been an old banger, no, it had to be an Audi, 2003 so not that bad, but still!!! So I get out of the car and the girl driving the other car is like ?oh did you just hit my car? (See I knew I should have just driven away!! :P) and I said ?oh god sorry? but then she said (my favourite part) ?oh god it was all my fault? heeeeeeeheeeeeee!! She was obviously never taught like me in that you NEVER admit that it was your fault, ever, even if it?s totally obviously your fault. So we look at the damage there is a teeny scratch on her bumper, approx 7cm long, and that?s it, no dent no anything and the scrape isn?t even down to the metal, then we look at my car where there is a huge dent in the wheel arch, or rather a succession of smaller dents, making one big one, and my mirror is hanging off, soooo annoyed its unreal! So she took my details and was really very nice about the whole thing, although that may have something to do with the fact that she said that it was her fault, she was lovely and gave me a hug and everything which is why I will feel bad screwing her over about it if they land me with a massive bill, I already have a few draft letters written by my ?solicitor? Ciara (she?s a law student ? shhh!!) about how seeing as the driver admitted full responsibility I am sending a cheque for ?X as a good will gesture) its all good in the hood. My poor car though, I feel terrible for it, the Slutmobile is scarred for life. Sob!

(*any donations will be greatly appreciated by the ?Fix the Slutmobile Fund")

Posted by Babs at 9:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Is it just me or does anyone else love winter this much. It?s so fresh outside and even though it pished rain ALL day yesterday I still love it. Even though its dark when I get up and dark when I am on my way home from work I still love it. I love walking in the crispy leaves, and the smell of Halloween in the air (yes they are still letting off the fireworks even though its mid November, those clever people!) and I can have the fire on and not feel bad about getting into bed early or having a ?blankies? or getting into my PJ?s the second I get home from work. One reason I love it is that I get to wear my vast array of scarves, hats, gloves and big jumpers and winter dresses and boots, summer is boring, its always the same, flip flop flap as far as I am concerned, you have people who really shouldn?t wearing WAY too little clothes and not to be bad, but no one wants to see that you know? Winter has so many things going for it, lovely snow, lovely refreshing rain, wind to blow away all the cobwebs left by calmer weather. I think at times I am obsessed with winter, I even have a tattoo of a snowflake on my leg done in white ink, so its very subtle, I love it, I forget its there sometimes even, but its mine, and no one else has the same one so its special. Loads of people get them in black and coloured inks which I feel is totally wrong, cause I mean, snow is white right? Summer sunshine is the best, right now I am sitting in my office with the blinds partially closed, looking out at cranes and building going on and there is this amazing sunrise, and amazing clouds, and maybe it?s just me, but it?s too early to see it in the summer.

(*Artwork by Donough O'Malley www.pencilrobot.com)

Posted by Babs at 8:35 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

So after a weekend of craziness and wonderful times I came into work this morning and found my lovely friend Eleanor in tears, she was in her boyfriends house on Saturday night and about 5 o'clock in the morning she woke up when she heard a loud explosion, she looked out the window and saw this:

Her lovely car had been torched by some dirty little scumbags, this girl saved so hard to buy her car, and she LOVED it, like I mean, totally was in love with her car, she had a special interior and special paint and kept it so clean it was unbelievable and to think that some little shits found it amusing to set it on fire and watch it burn just made me so angry, I still am, the whole thing is melted, as you can see from the pictures, its scary looking I think! What's worse is that yesterday during the day she went out to look at it and it was full of wood so they weren't happy with lighting it once, no, they are going to light it again tonight, to make it worse. Officially the worst Halloween ever!

_{[image posting done by Matt, because he's more brillianter at the HTML-ey stuff than Babs is...]}

Posted by Babs at 7:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (13) | TrackBacks (0)

On Monday evening I was on my way into college after work and I thought, ?hmm, I need coffee? so I was walking up Nassau street and I went to the Coffee and Food Company where I had never been before to get one, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised, there was a middle aged man working there and I would say he possibly owned the place, he was just clearing up after a busy day and looked fairly stressed to the max, I was wrecked and not in the humour for anything never mind 3 hours of college, but this man totally made my evening, he was SO nice, all chats and watching him make the coffee put a smile on my face. I used to work in a coffee shop years ago when I was still in school, and I really put the effort in to make everyone nice coffee and its not often that you will get a good one to take away nowadays, he just looked like he loved doing it, he took his time and was obviously a total perfectionist, even though I was in a hurry I didn?t mind waiting the 5 minutes it took for my coffee, he had a special brush to make sure that there was no grains clogging up the machine, he wiped the steam pipe until it gleamed after he heated the milk (a thing I rarely see done regularly in coffee emporiums) the coffee looked delish and he was just SO nice he even put my one sugar in for me as I was laden down with bags and folders), so now I beg the question, why aren?t there more people like this in the city, why do people work with the public when they so obviously HATE people? It baffles me, it really does, no manners, no smile, no thank you, and I don?t mean in the false ?American ? Have a nice day? way I mean just genuine nice, I always had a smile for my customers, the ones that came in everyday for their coffee before work at 7am, the builders who came in for their full Irish at 9am, the office workers who came in at lunch, and even the people who would come in and annoy me for food or drinks just before closing, maybe I am just picky, but being nice doesn?t cost anything! Anyway, my coffee was lovely and lasted me a good hour before going too cold to drink it was massive and cost ?2 (I think) and I will be going there again this evening for the same thing for defo and so should everyone if they are in the vicinity!!

Posted by Babs at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

So I was on the usual road trip home from work with Trish yesterday when we were talking about soup, now I have been making this spicy tomato soup for about two years and am kind of getting sick of it, and then she said ?why don?t you make carrot soup? so I did, off on my merry way to Tesco and I bought all the lovely ingredients, plus other weekly shop stuff, and I made loads, and loads, and loads of it, Tis deadly so I thought, why not share this delight and maybe teach a few of you (ahem?Matt) how easy it is to cook stuff, even in my very very very 70?s kitchen, (its apple green Formica for those who are interested), so here ya go:

Posted by Babs at 2:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (8) | TrackBacks (0)

Meet ?Flange? my new Doozer, this is his actual name, I am scared by this fact momentarily, what were they thinking? I just don?t know, but isn?t he SO cool, I love him, and he has a tashe, just like Tom Sellick, apart from Sellick?s isn?t ginge, ah well!

Posted by Babs at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Wikipedia Entry / Youtube Videos

My mouth's as dry as a nuns crack.

As funny as a burning orphanage.

He's so camp, he shites tent pegs.

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes.

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn.

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit.

As tight as a nun's knickers.

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the
van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

No show pony but would do for a ride around the house.

Did your mother find out who your father is yet?

What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt.

I left her with a face like a painters radio.

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard.

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a creche.

As fit as a butcher's dog.

Not even the tide would take her out.

Mother Teresa wouldn 't kiss her,
Daz wouldn't shift her, and
Des Kelly wouldn't lay her.

A sniper wouldn't take her out.

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle.

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one.

She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab.

If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall.

Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out of her.

Posted by Babs at 1:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Ok so I go to this site all the time and all the time I buy t-shirts, I have loads, like at least 20, I even bought one yesterday for my roomdawg's birthday, and then....I saw it, this disgrace of a t-shirt, now I am all for the old un P.C jokes and the taking the piss, but I actually was disgusted, and so were all of my team in work when I showed them, apart from one stupid person who didn't get it, and was like "what's the story with that?"
Anyway, I emailed threadless yesterday to give out shite basically, they still haven't gotten back to me, hmmmm!!

Posted by Babs at 11:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (33) | TrackBacks (0)

Well I am cream crackered too but for totally different reasons, I am feeling incredibly jealous of my brother now, for which you will see, are obvious reasons:

Friday 5pm: Off work for the weekend ? awoohoo!!! And there is a work do on tonight even better, I want to leave my car at home so my mate Lorna who I work with said she would follow me to my gaff and then drop me to the bar, result and a half I say. So we are on the way home and there is a massive truck on front of me and the lights turn red, but I don?t see them due to the truck which also broke them, and I broke the lights, for the first time ever, and I didn?t even notice, I was listening to Weezer and boogying on down in the car, not in a dangerous fashion, but you know, drumming on the steering wheel and that, Lorna blew the horn which was the scariest part, I am very disappointed in myself to be honest?..anyway so then it was home?change?play with turtles?.back into Lorna?s car, got to the bar, the drink was all for FREE ? yay!! So I ordered my pint, went to the toilet, my pint came and someone STOLE it!!! I mean seriously, the booze was free and yet someone still felt the need to steal my pint, its just ridiculous!! Anyway finally (felt like ages, was actually approx 8.5 mins) got my pint, there was supposed to be food laid on, so we were milling the pints, I can?t say exactly how many were consumed, but I will say 6 in that bar, approx, em!! I think so anyway, so the food came and it was crap, now bear in mind that this was for the General Managers farewell party, and we got platters of deep fried shite, literally, even if you were into that sort of thing, it was still shite. Anyway, so the scabby bastards cut the tab at 10.30 (!!!!!!!!!) so me, my mate Kirsty and my other mate Barry decided to feck off to another place, so we said we were going to the bar and then legged it!! We went to a place called Toast in Rathmines which I love, and they hadn?t been to, so that was groovy!! More pints then Kirsty went home, bar closed, Barry decided it would be a great idea to get KEBABS, and I agreed, and we went to this dive place called Hit The Spot and let me tell you this, it really didn?t hit any spot, none, not at all, we left without finishing and staggered back into town where I got the nitelink, went home, almost fell into my turtlepops aquarium (I could actually more than likely fit into it!! My largest achievement of the night has to be this though: after I would say 8 or 9 pints (I may be short ish but I can fit them in) a kebab and numerous other dirt infested areas including the bus stop and bus, I was wearing white trousers and they hadn?t a mark on them ? awoohoo!!!! Really, this is a big achievement for me.

Saturday: Woke up 9am, slept, woke up 10am, slept, woke up 11am, got up, made brekki (yum), arsed around the house for a while shaking and the like, trying my best to wake up, showered, shook some more, drank coffee, that was a bit better, remembered eating the kebab, felt a little queasy, then was like ?I don?t want to go to work??.oh yeah forgot, sometimes I work in my friends restaurant, with him, as a nixer type thing. Rob is my friend. Rob is in Bratislava on holidays, with his girlfriend Lyn, Rob didn?t tell me that the dude that I was going to be working with was USELESS. I am trained as a chef and have a pretty cool head under pressure, I also have no problem communicating things with my comrades, this guy, apparently did!! He was all chat before service and then just stopped. Now I don?t know if any of you have ever worked in kitchens or even as front of house, but if you have you will know that communication is the be all and end all of the whole operation, there were orders coming in he wasn?t telling me, thus putting me up shit creek without even a trace of a paddle, then I was doing starters, and sides (easier option and if I get a choice then why not) so he was sending main courses but not telling me which table etc, so I had no idea what to be sending, so then he starts giving ME shit for not being together, so I told him to fuck off and worked it my own way from then on. Go me!! The I did something bad!! I was doing some sauté potatoes to go with a steak I think, and I threw on the pan and oil to heat up and then I had the spuds in my hand to throw in and I dropped one into the boiling oil and it splashed my arm and?MY FACE. So now I have this lovely scabby eye socket, I was lucky I suppose that I dint get it into my eye, but man, it hurt into the pit of my stomach!! Then I cleaned down, didn?t help the knob dude at all cause why should I when he?s a dick head and then left, on my way home my friend Su called me ? ?ooh hey, can I sleep in your gaff tonight Micheal ? her boyfriend ? has gone to France and I don?t like being in my house on my own on the weekends, please? so I said yeah and I collected her on the way home, she gets into the car after drinking a few whiskeys ? to calm her down ? with a bag of pyjamas, and a bottle of Jameson, like a LARGE bottle of Jameson, so when we got home, we tucked into it, then about 2.30 I decided I could no longer function so I put her to bed, found a new spider in the hallway, we named him Larry!! And then I fell into bed, and didn?t wake up until???

Sunday 1.45pm: wake up!!! AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!! Its 1.45, WTF!!!! Got up, made myself brekki / lunch type thing, eggs, toast, tea, then some coffee, an apple, that kind of jazz, then lay on the couch till 4.30 watching ?Shameless? DVD?s, then had a 45 minute shower, then got ready for other work, where Matt works, then my roomie Conor came home, and he was CRANKY, he has worked the last 21 days in a row and is angry about it to say the least!! Then I left, went to my mate Trish?s gaff to park my car, had some tea and then went to work?in the third job in just over 48 hours, rock on Sarah!! Then I went home, made luch for today, watched ?Shameless? dvd and then off to Bedfordshire for me, where of course I cannot sleep??????.

(NOTE:* it is not normal for me to work 3 jobs, I am not insane!! I am going back to college at night time in 2 weeks ? eek! And needed to work extra to pay off fees, comprende?)

Matt is sooooooooooooooooooooo lucky!!

Posted by Babs at 3:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (12) | TrackBacks (0)

A Dog's Diary

7 a.m. - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

8 a.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 a.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 p.m. - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

3 p.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

4 p.m. - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

6 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

7 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

8 p.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 p.m. - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

11 p.m. - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time.

Posted by Babs at 11:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

By This: http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

Sarah: at age 26 while playing Tekken 23, a burglar will break into your house. A fight will ensue and you will lose.

(not by the fact that it has told me that I will die at 26, but that I don?t know how to play Tekken)

Posted by Babs at 12:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (9) | TrackBacks (0)

You are Supergirl

Supergirl 92% Wonder Woman 92% Spider-Man 80% Robin 77% Superman 75% Green Lantern 75% Catwoman 70% Hulk 65% The Flash 65% Iron Man 50% Batman 40%

Lean, muscular and feminine. Honest and a defender of the innocent.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Posted by Babs at 4:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

_{(*this is me dancing, in a kitchen, in Monaghan, I thought I would show you me again!!) (all different, but all the same)}

1. A track from your early childhood
   
   ?Guilty? by Bananrama, I used to dance around my kitchen to it as a small girl and it?s the first song I knew all the words to
2. A track that you associate with your first love
   ?RX queen? by Deftones, ?cause you?re me girl and that?s alright, if you sting me I wont mind? aw!
3. A track that reminds you of a holiday trip
   ?Hotel California? by The Eagles, Girona 04, me and Keelin listened to it everyday that I was there
4. A track that you like but wouldn?t want to be associated with in public
   Oh god, any of my 80?s cheesy tastic ones, em possible Rock the Boat, or Germaine Stewart ?we don?t have to take our clothes off, to have a good time? (terrible but I secretly love it ? shhh!)
5. A track that accompanied you when you were lovesick
   ?Lover you should have come over? Jeff Buckley / ?I hope that I don?t fall in love with you? Tom Waits
6. A track that you have probably listened to most often
   ?Ugly Girl? Fiona Apple, the ultimate break up song really, but I love it for other occasions too! The lyrics are just genius!! And the music is all upbeat and funky so it puts you in a good mood as well, and no?I am not bitter!!
7. A track that is your favourite instrumental
   
   "McBride?s" by Moving Hearts.
8. A track that represents one of your favourite bands
   I don?t really have a favourite band so to speak, there?s far too many, so here goes: T-Rex ?cosmic dancer?, Beastie Boys ?sabotage?, Deftones ?passenger?, Blondie ?fade away and radiate?, Bjork ?Joga?, Bob Marley and the Wailers ?Redemption Song?, Rage against the machine ?responsible for genocide?, Suzanne Vega ?Marlene on the wall?, Jimi Hendrix ?all along the watchtower?, Tears For Fears ?head over heels?, The Ramones ?Pet Cemetery?, CCR ?Suzie Q?, The Carpenters ?The Masquerade?.
9. A track which represents yourself best
   ?Teenage Kicks? The Undertones for defo!
10. A track that reminds you of a special occasion (which one?)
    
    ?Simply the Best? Tina Turner, me, my Mam, and my Sister danced to this at my sisters wedding, and we always sing it with alternative words
11. A track that you can relax to
    Well if I am doing the Yoga at home (ultimate relaxation) or if I can?t sleep I listen to Air?s ?Moon Safari? album, its so chilled out, but cant pick one track, cause then once you are relaxed you?d have to get up and out something else on, and that just defeats the purpose!
12. A track that stands for a really good time in your life
    ?The Way young lovers do? Van Morrison, reminds me of 2 summers ago (2004) when I was introducing my foreign mates to Irish musicians, and we used to sit in the garden and do beer tastings and climb onto the roof of the shed and pick the cherries off the tree in Neal?s garden, and dance in the grass in our bare feet, it was a cool time!
13. A track that is currently your favourite
    ?Oh my God? Kaiser Chiefs, (brilliant for driving to) or ?Hounds of Love? The Futureheads, one of the few covers that do the original justice, brilliant track!!
14. A track that you?d dedicate to your best friend
    The Pixies ?Debaser? or The Foo Fighters ?My Hero?
15. A track that you think nobody but you likes
    ?The Frog Chorus? Paul McCartney, ah them were the days!!
16. A track that you like especially for its lyrics
    ?Dream Brother? Jeff Buckley, makes me tingle, I know, bent but hey, that?s me!
17. A track that you like that?s neither English nor German
    Les Tentations ?Il fait chaud?, French rap, I was introduced to this by my Parisian friend Stefane, its brilliant, its defo on my recommended list!
18. A track that lets you release tension best
    ?All along the Watchtower? Jimi Hendrix, it makes me dance, even when I don?t want to
19. A track that you want to be played on your funeral
    ?Hurt? Johnnie Cash (originally by NIN but this one is SO much better, ?What have I become, my sweetest friend
    Everyone I know goes away, in the end
    And you could have it all, my empire of dirt
    I will let you down, I will make you hurt

    If I could start again, a million miles away, I would keep myself
    I would find a way?

    The music is brilliant in it as well, makes me tingle

20. A track that you?d nominate for the ?best of all times? category
    ?Teenage Kicks? The Undertones, I love it, it also makes me dance, and I have loved it since I first heard it, in Donegal when I was about 9 and my Dad?s mate John was playing the music on the guitar and he asked me had I ever heard it and I said no and then he played it for me and I just fell in love with it straight away, I love the way Sharkey?s accent is true in his singing voice.

Posted by Babs at 5:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (15) | TrackBacks (0)

So I was going about my normal business the other night getting some pitta bread out of my freezer which is in the utility room in my house when I noticed a ?shitpile? of ants on the wall, now our house is in an ant prone area, being near the sea and that, I mean they are always all over the garden and paths and that, so me being me and not afraid of these things got the old ant spray out and blasted them, they were dead or so I thought?..

The next day I got home from work and decided I should clean up the dead ant depris from the night before, and when I looked down I saw more, coming from underneath the freezer, I was like ?oh dear, that?s a lot of ants? (there were maybe 100) so I got my groovy roomie Eimear to help me take everything out of the freezer and move it back (it was VERY heavy and I am strong, but small ish so moving it alone was not an option). When we moved the freezer, what we saw actually scared the bejasus out of me, (and I am not a scardey cat about creepy crawlies) there were THOUSANDS of them, more and more kept coming from under the lino, seriously it looked like something out of a horror movie, now I was ready with the (pretend) Dyson (ie: like a Dyson, but NOT ?400 ? neat!) in hand, and I was wearing flip flops (or thongs as weird people call them) and they were on my feet and I was freaking out BIG TIME, now I know that Matt has seen me freaking out a good few times what with being my bro and that, but I swear I have never ever ever freaked out this much in my life, I was vacuuming to beat the band, for 40 minutes, the container where the dirt goes was FULL of ants, ew, my skin is crawling even writing about it!! So when I was done vacuuming I ran out into my front garden, container of ants in hand, jumped over the wall into this field and set the ants on fire, I know I am a bad bitch but I had to, they would have come back, we pulled the lino up then and there were MORE (yes more!!) so I vacuumed them up too, burned them and then ant sprayed the shite out of everywhere, and ant powder and also this other stuff called ?Nipan? or something, which the ants eat and then go back to the nest and then they explode (groovy?) and kill the rest of the ants, ew Creepy Mac Creeperson seriously!! So yeah, ANT Invasion, not so groovy!!

Posted by Babs at 5:17 PM | Permalink | Comments (27) | TrackBacks (0)

Apparently so, yes I know it is the coolest name in the world, but there is a BAND?? In Finland, I found these by accident the other night while hanging out with my friend Suzi Blue (*not her real name ? the Blue bit) anyway she had asked me over to her apartment to sing for her (yes I know, weird you may say but this is what was happening) she is in a band and heard me drunkenly warbling on Saturday at the BBQ in my house, and thought that I sounded lovely so I went over and drank red wine and was merry and sang, so we were kind of drunk and decided that we were forming a band, and were like ?what will we call the band!?? so we decided on Verso and found these dudes, some Finnish type metallers, they seem to be very Finnish, I am amazed, so we couldn?t use that so we decided on The Heroes, and as you can guess there was a band called that too, so what will we do?? Ideas on a postcard please!

So yeah a band called Verso, what were the chances??

Posted by Babs at 10:57 AM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

I saw this and I want it, but I am poor as a mo-fo at the moment, so will someone buy it for me??? Go on, I am lovely and will be dead appreciative of any gifts! (Please?)

(I am a girly medium!!)

Posted by Babs at 11:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBacks (0)

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet and current street name)
Luna Merrion

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your mom's side, your favourite candy)
Ernie May Sherbet

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your middle name)
S-Ver

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favourite colour, favourite animal)
Yellow Terrapin

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Ruth Drogheda

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name)
Verson

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards)
Htur NoscaaI

8. PORN STAR NAME: (middle name, street you grew up on)
Ruth Chapel

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favourite colour, favourite drink)
The Yellow Beer

Posted by Babs at 6:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

While sitting at my desk in work today I was emailed this link, all I can say is BRILLIANT!!

Seriously, what is the infamous Hoff thinking, was this produced just for the German fans? Or wha??

Posted by Babs at 4:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

Posted by Babs at 9:50 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

'Here's a message for Faggot-lovers everywhere.'

Does anyone remember these? I don?t but my friend Trish does, so as a gift to her, I seached high and low on the net for the advert ? they even had a theme song- but had no luck, its killing me, I want to find it just to see if it will jog my memory!! There is even a ?Faggot Family? for Jasus sake!

_{*faggots are balls of low quality pork, basically pork liver and shredded pork meat, and offal ? ew! I am wondering has anyone ever tried these? I think I would most definitely vomit at the smell, but some people would eat anything!}

Posted by Babs at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10) | TrackBacks (0)

Well well, what can I say, while I was sitting in the car last night having a chat with my groovy brother this song came on, now I had heard it a few times but never really listened to it, I couldn?t really understand what Shakira was going on about due to the horrific lyrics and also Wycliffe Jean (or whatever he?s called, formerly of The Fugees) shooting his mouth off about refugees and that.

So I decided being kind of anal about things like that, that I would Google the lyrics today, so I did, and from what I can see, its quite obvious that English is clearly not her first language, the lyrics make no sense whatsoever, how did this become a chart topper I wonder, it sounds like just another Shakira song but reading the lyrics you can clearly see Wycleff?s influence in it, apparently his part is about his concern for (you guessed it) refugees and CIA harassment(?). It?s almost as if she just wants it to rhyme and so puts random words together. Hmmm!

Posted by Babs at 1:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBacks (0)