This one was so weird I just had to do it! Here go go then...
Have you had sex in the past 24 hours?
Amazingly enough, no.
Are you gay?
Are you crazy?
Do you have hairy legs?
Do you smoke anything?
I smoke everything. Especially cheese.
Do you like monkeys?
Yes, but I couldn't eat a whole one.
How many fillings do you have?
My mouth is sullied by but one filling.
Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake?
Probably the ocean, depending on cleanness.
Have you ever licked one of those square batteries?
Every chance I get (the rechargable ones give you a better hit).
Have you ever read the Bible?
Not really. I've heard it's a great yarn though.
Did you ever go to Sunday School?
I choose not to answer this question as it is too American.
Do you wear a lot of black?
Not really, unless I am working on the stage (not often, but sometimes).
Did you ever bring a weapon to school?
If you count my trusty Swiss Army Knife as a weapon, then yes, every day.
Have you ever hugged a tree?
A couple of times. They don't really hug back though.
Do you know what a sphincter actually is?
Err... Yes? Don't you?
Describe your hair?
Short, mid-brown, with 'product' in.
Are you a wildbeast?
I don't think so...
Do you like to have fun?
Occasionally (for 'occasionally', read 'always').
Do you like drama?
Personal drama, no. Stage Drama, yes. TV drama, sometimes. Movie drama, also sometimes.
Have you ever taken a bong hit?
Yes! What's a 'bong' (innocent look)?
Do you like mayonnaise?
That depends on the nature of the sandwich.
Are you afraid to die?
Not right now. Maybe in the future?
Do you like playing in leaves?
Once upon a time, yes. Now, well, yes.
Have you ever peed your pants as an adult?
Not that I remember.
Have you ever thrown up on somebody as an adult?
Hmmmm... See previous question (and also add possibly, probably, dunno).
Are you an adult?
Outside, yes. Inside, not even close.
Ever won a spelling bee?
See answer to 'Sunday School' question, above.
Do you ever eat because your depressed?
I eat for any reason at all.
Are you a television addict?
My name is Matt and I'm a tellyholic.
Do you think OJ was guilty?
I think he was framed, but he looked guilty.
Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
My Mammy is my friend.
Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?
Not so far. Sounds fun though!
On a swing?
Please explain how one would do such a thing.
Do you like Elvis?
Do you enjoy watching animals ?do it? on the Discovery channel?
I am traumatized for life after seeing walruses 'doing it' the week before last.
Ever been hit on at a zoo?
Yeah, the giraffes really dig me
Have you ever had sex with a total stranger?
The very idea is an anathema to my sensibilities.
Do you enjoy the calming effects of turkeys?
Does your mom think someone is hot?
She's a sucker for
Sean Connery George Harrison. RIP George, my Mammy loves ya.
Are you a sugar freak?
If by 'freak' you mean 'addict', then yes.
Ever been arrested?
Not yet (touch wood).
Ever commit a crime and get away with it?
Yes. I'm not saying what though (In case Interpol read my blog like).
Do you like orange juice?
Yes, freshly squeezed with juicy bits in.
What sign are you?
"No Right Turn"
Ever do the party boy dance in front of the elderly?
Every chance I have.
Where do you wish you were right now?
Back home in bed, eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich.
Did you enjoy this?
It was fun for a while, then it got a bit boring...